


five to one (with thirty seconds to spare)

by gingerpunches



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Asshole!Barnaby, Barnaby has some memory and trust issues because of Maverick, Bisexual Characters, Canon-Typical Violence, Drama & Romance, Emotional Baggage, Extreme Pining, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Multi-lingual Kotetsu, Oblivious!Kotetsu, Post-Canon, Post-The Rising, Slow Burn, like holy crap Barnaby is really bad at this pining thing, they're the only two NEXT with the same ability and that means something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-02-13 22:13:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 39,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2167095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingerpunches/pseuds/gingerpunches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s a theory among researchers that NEXT are the next step in human evolution.</p>
<p>NEXT powers are unpredictable, though, so each power is cataloged once it’s found. There’s a database out there somewhere tracking each NEXT power, and with the amount of humans in the world, only less than a third of the seven billion people on the planet have NEXT powers. No power goes unnoticed, and, according to statistics gathered by researchers, no NEXT has the same power or nature as another NEXT.</p>
<p>Each has their own unique power ranging from extremely useful to extremely impractical - and no two powers are the same. It’s the only thing any researcher and genealogist is confident in. </p>
<p>Until Kotetsu and Barnaby come along.</p>
<p>(And that, right there, is where Barnaby starts to believe).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Uhhh this is my first long fic that I've actually ever posted for a fandom! This is also my first fic for TnB and on ao3, so constructive crit is appreciated. If there's any spelling errors or things of the like, please tell me and I'll fix them! Thanks and I hope this doesn't look as stupid as it sounds in my head. B)

 

///

There’s a theory among researchers that NEXT are the next evolutionary step in the human timeline.

(Barnaby doesn’t believe any of it at first).

NEXT powers stem from mutated genes that no one knows the origin of. Some think they appeared from government-related tests, because the genes are random enough and widespread enough that there is no genealogical pattern among NEXTs and the offspring they bear. Others think that somehow, somewhere, the human genome took that step forward during ovulation, allowing that particular human the power to move objects with their super strength or hear thoughts with their magnified brain waves.

There’s proof of NEXT powers having a marker in human DNA now - something that wasn’t recorded in the human DNA and RNA strain before. There’s proof that it’s strictly occurring in humans, and there’s proof that it’s random enough there’s no way to track it within generations. One day it wasn’t there, and the next scientists are going nuts, their minds already devising tests and maps to figure out the puzzle that would come to be Noted Entities with eXtraordinary Talents.

NEXT powers are unpredictable, though, so each power is catalogued once it’s found. There’s a database out there somewhere tracking each NEXT power, and with the amount of humans in the world, only less than a third of the seven billion people on the planet have NEXT powers. No power goes unnoticed, and, according to statistics gathered by researchers, no NEXT has the same power or nature as another NEXT.

Each has their own unique power ranging from extremely useful to extremely impractical - and no two powers are the same. It’s the only thing any researcher and genealogist is confident in.

Until Kotetsu and Barnaby come along.

(And that, right there, is where Barnaby starts to believe).

///

“Bunny, it’s just a scratch! It didn’t even completely go through!”

“There’s a _gash_ in your side and you just expect me to leave it?”

“Yeah! Because it’s fine!” Kotetsu gesticulates wildly, and Barnaby slaps a hand down on his arm to prevent him from moving too far.

“There’s blood – I can’t –“

“That’s not a lot of blood! I swear I’m fine, I’m not stupid enough to walk into a bullet -” and Kotetsu pauses, swallows, his expression going slack. “Or, well, harpoon-thing," he says, softer.

Barnaby laughs. “Really. This looks like you just stood there and let her take the potshot.”

Kotetsu balks. “I didn’t let her take the shot! She was just there!”

Barnaby wrenches away and paces to the other end of the alley, focusing less on the annoyance fizzing under his skin and more on his environment, because at least he can control and understand the world at the moment. Kotetsu, however, is an enigma to him right now. One that he’s not sure he can completely handle.

He closes his eyes and focuses less on his fluttering heart and more on the faint ring of an ambulance coming closer. His mind reels through the last twenty minutes - on their suspect groaning on the ground, clutching her stomach from one of Kotetsu’s powerful punches, her escape from wherever the hell she’d come from cut short as soon as Hero TV’s super duo cornered her in the alley they now stood in. She was a powerful NEXT, but her power couldn’t work while she was stationary. Something about teleportation that Barnaby ignored in favor for diving for his partner when he got shot.

How Kotetsu’s armor got torn up that bad, Barnaby doesn’t know. He has an inkling of an idea, but he doesn’t like it the more he thinks about the image of the girl waving the large launcher in his face, threatening to string him through with it if he didn’t let her go. Barnaby had kicked away the weapon once it dropped from their suspect’s hands, but the sharp harpoon-like projectile that had ejected from it still hung in the wall not five feet from where Barnaby stood, a good meter long, its business end serrated. He guessed it was made of a material strong enough to cut through their suits, but the specifics of their suit mechanics weren’t public knowledge.

Barnaby doesn’t much want to think about how this NEXT got a hold of a weapon that powerful, or how she got the information on their suits. It raises too many questions he doesn’t feel like answering.

Kotetsu is grumbling behind him, and for a moment, Barnaby contemplates ignoring him. They’ve been driving each other up the wall ever since Kotetsu was reinstated into the First League, and not in their normal bickering sort of way. It used to be fun, their back-and-forth arguing. But this time, with Kotetsu’s blood dripping from the tear in his armor, it's just too much.

“I’m sorry,” Kotetsu mumbles, and Barnaby turns, not even trying to hide the unimpressed look on his face. Kotetsu shifts, and Barnaby can see the awkward lilt to his steps, the way he keeps his weight on his right leg and not his left. The blood on his suit shines in the low light from the street.

Barnaby runs a gloved hand over his face and tries to breathe. He can feel his chest constricting in a way that is most decidedly not because of his suit, and the shrill alarm of the ambulance getting closer only serves to push him farther from being calm. Kotetsu is staring at him, expecting an answer, and Barnaby can barely bring himself to take a deep breath with this invading thought he’s tried to stamp down for a long time now suddenly battering itself against his ribs.

He doesn’t want to think about this, he _doesn’t want to think about this --_

Kotetsu huffs. “I was just trying to stop her – she could have gone for civilians, or you –“

Barnaby’s hands begin to shake, so he brings them down and fists them on his hips. He can hear the faint rattling of his armor clicking together, the sound drilling into his head. _She could have gone for civilians, or you –_ Jesus, why is it coming onto him right now, why does Kotetsu have to get under her skin _right now --_

“ – And then there she was, just hanging, and you didn’t look like you were going to do anything. So I took the chance and disabled her. Without really thinking, I admit that, but – “

The call of the ambulance is getting closer and closer, and for the first time since Maverick, Barnaby can feel the small itching of a panic attack building in his throat. He tries to clamp it down, because really, Kotetsu is fine, he’s standing upright, he’s rambling, which is a good enough reason for Barnaby to pretend to ignore the awkward line of his body trying not to irritate his wound any further. Barnaby wants nothing else than to clamp down his visor and deal with it after the ambulance takes care of him, but something beats hard against his ribs, a fluttering that shakes him all the way down to his toes, and he realizes at that moment that what he’s suddenly feeling isn’t the normal worry he feels when Kotetsu gets hurt.

This is deeper and warmer than anything he’s ever felt. He realizes that he’s not shaking with the urge to punch Kotetsu in the jaw to shut him up - he’s shaking with the barely controlled compulsion to drag Kotetsu into his arms and never let go.

He takes a deep, shuddering breath, clamping down on the epiphany shaking him down to his core. It sharpens his focus into something that’s not his trembling hands and his weakening knees. The panic growing up into his throat subsides and drifts back down, replaced with the cold calculation he’s used to dealing with. For a moment, he has control. He takes advantage of it to gather himself.

This is hardly territory that’s something beyond close friends, but they’ve been dancing around each other, too, for a long time. So far it’s been nothing but a crawling feeling up Barnaby’s spine every once and a while - when they stand too close, when Kotetsu holds his gaze for too long, when Barnaby decides that the hug Kotetsu shared with him isn’t long enough. Maybe he’s reading too far into things, maybe it’s just him, but this thing building under Barnaby’s sternum is getting to the point that he can’t think straight.

 _Straight._ If this is what Barnaby thinks it is, what he knows it is, Barnaby is going to be so far gone he won't be able to appreciate simple things like unintentional puns (and Kotetsu was on a roll lately - it was a shame, really).

But, well. Now that he thinks about it, he’s been too far gone for a long time now.

A screeching wail bounces down the alley, shocking Barnaby out of his thoughts. He realizes that he’s been staring Kotetsu down the entire time he’s been in his head, and Kotetsu’s face is something between confused and horrified. But before Barnaby can get a word in - apologize, maybe, for how he’s acted these last twenty minutes - a pair of paramedics come up behind Kotetsu and lead him to the Apollon Media trailer parked next to the ambulance. Barnaby hangs back until a police officer and another paramedic come and take their suspect away, then makes his way around to Kotetsu to start wrestling off his armor before being debriefed.

He doesn’t glance Kotetsu’s way - that’ll just spring the old man into talking - so he walks past him and into the trailer, ignoring the sick feeling bubbling up into his throat at the worried glance Kotetsu throws him.

He’s not sulking, he tells himself as he yanks off piece after piece of his armor, starting with the helmet and working down, trying to lose himself in the methodical movements of divesting himself of everything his public image has come to be. It doesn’t work - naturally - as the initial panic of seeing Kotetsu hurt washes over him and is replaced with worry and fear. He feels his hands beginning to shake again, and as he’s setting the last pieces of his armor on the rack, he can see the blood in his mind’s eye, how bright it was against the stark white of Kotetsu’s armor, how it didn’t even seem to flow from any one place - just coming out, dribbling over the lip of the perforated chest piece, streaks of red on hardened ultralight metal and plastic.

Barnaby doesn’t want to think about what it would have looked like through his visor, the numerous warnings and suggestions flooding his screen as his suit took in Kotetsu’s injury, his heartbeat, his bloodflow, how quickly it would take him to bleed out if Barnaby had neglected to call an ambulance the moment he saw blood, but his mind supplies the image anyway. It takes everything in him to keep his heart squashed down so it doesn’t jump into his throat.

Another image replaces the one racing through his mind right then: Kotetsu laying on the floor, his armor seared off and his skin blistering. Barnaby can feel the hot air sliding over his face and stuffing up the rest of his suit; he can feel Kotetsu’s weight in his arms, slowly growing heavier and heavier as Kotetsu loses strength, the light in his eyes going dim as his smile gets brighter. It’s a memory Barnaby has tried to dispel from his mind ever since Kotetsu stood up again and nailed Maverick in the head with one well-timed punch. But he can feel it again now, searing up his spine and putting him on edge.

That was real. Kotetsu had almost died right there in Barnaby’s arms, and while Kotetsu wasn’t near death or in Barnaby’s arms this time, the reality is still right there; and with that amount of blood, Kotetsu isn’t going to be at his best for at least a couple days. That harpoon could have stuck - it could have pierced him through, leaving him with no chance at living through the night.

If it was strong enough to slice through their suits, Barnaby knew Kotetsu had been dancing on the fine line between luck and stupidity tonight. Again.

“Are you alright, Bunny?”

Kotetsu startles Barnaby out of his thoughts, and when he whips around to look the older man in the eye, he stumbles back at the sight of him. His ribcage is wrapped tightly in gauze, thankfully not splotched in blood, but Kotetsu holds his arms out awkwardly as he pulls his shirt on and begins to button it, his face pinched in pain. He hides it well, though - as well as Kotetsu’s animated face can hide things - and before Barnaby can answer, he’s fixing up his tie, his stare still drilling Barnaby to the rack behind him.

“Did you hear me, Bunny?” Kotetsu asks, beginning to look more than slightly worried.

Barnaby swallows and forces himself to talk. “I’m just concerned about you. You never look after yourself.”

Kotetsu snorts, waving his hand like he was driving a bad smell away from his face. “I did what I had to do. You know how it works, Bunny. We stop the suspect no matter what.”

Barnaby wants to sigh, but he doesn’t. Now isn’t the time to bring in attitude. “I was right there - that harpoon could have done a lot more damage. You know how I feel about you jumping into danger unheeding like that.”

“It’s just a scratch,” Kotetsu says irritably. Knowing him, it's more than just a scratch - he probably bribed the paramedics to let him go with what he has. “I’m fine, she’s in custody, we have some reports to write, and the other heroes are cleaning up. We can go catch dinner now if you want?”

Kotetsu is avoiding the issue entirely, but that isn’t new. Barnaby lets it slide and shakes his head, feeling the nervous fluttering building under his ribcage as he watches Kotetsu pull up his suspenders. His shoulders pull the fabric of his shirt taunt as his fingers pull up along the length of the bands, adjusting them with deft movements that quickly leave Barnaby breathless. Kotetsu stretches his arms up and behind himself to straighten the straps, and Jesus Christ Barnaby can see every line of muscle through the thin button-up, his biceps bulging and Barnaby can’t breathe --

“Bunny? Are you alright?”

Barnaby chokes. He whips his gaze away and begins yanking his clothes on, quickly getting dressed as Kotetsu stands blinking at him. He ignores Kotetsu’s prodding comments and tucks his shirt in before grabbing his phone, checking it before practically running out of the trailer and to his motorcycle. Kotetsu’s is parked nearby, but thankfully it’s not connected to Barnaby’s - Barnaby swings his leg over the seat and starts it as quickly as he can, pretending to ignore Kotetsu’s shouts behind him. But even over the roar of his motorcycle’s engine, he can hear the worry in Kotetsu’s voice, and it tears him apart to hear despite the growing arousal bubbling in his lower gut.

He studiously ignores the images of Kotetsu half naked in front of him, bandages be damned. He doesn’t think about Kotetsu’s fingers, or his back, or his arms stretched and flexing - he focuses on driving, because he’s going to go home, and shower, and forget that he saw his partner stretching in front of him, unknowing of Barnaby’s gaze raking up and down his long frame, lingering too long on his legs and back.

He ignores it. Because they’re best friends. Well, close friends. They hang out, and have the occasional dinner together, and spend entirely too much goddamn time together. Nathan has already accused them of being glued at the hip, and if Barnaby didn’t know any better, he’d say that maybe they just happened to be together at the same place all the time. It wasn’t like he coordinated himself around Kotetsu’s schedule, or made sure that his evenings were free when he knew Kotetsu would want to do something because he mentioned it earlier in the week. It wasn’t like Kotetsu was the only real friend Barnaby had ever had - he never made them at the Hero Academy, and if Barnaby was honest, still doesn’t have any beyond the heroes to this day - but it’s dawning on him that Kotetsu has slowly become the center of his universe, and there wasn’t a thing Barnaby could do about it.

Because Kotetsu was infectious - he got under people’s skin and stayed there, uncaring of how it drove Barnaby crazy. It didn’t matter if one didn’t like him in the beginning, because the word failure wasn’t in Kotetsu’s vocabulary, and Barnaby has seen one too many times just how effective his prodding could be. Barnaby considered himself unfriendly to every human being to walk the Earth, but then here comes Kotetsu, all smiles and happiness and goofy sunshine, and _goddamn it all -_

Barnaby runs a red light on accident, his thoughts centered entirely too much on Kotetsu and his sudden revelation of his true feelings. The only solution Barnaby sees in sight is to avoid Kotetsu, but in true fashion, he knows he’s not going to succeed. There’s a reason people assume they’re living together, and god bless it all, Barnaby is well and truly _fucked._

_///_


	2. Chapter 2

///

Kotetsu doesn’t seem to get the idea that whenever he even flexes, it sets Barnaby off.

It’s not like puberty, where even the sight of a naked body had Barnaby reeling and scrambling for the nearest object to cram over his growing erection. He’s twenty-seven goddamn years old, and there’s a lot to be said for his self control. 

He’s successfully ignored his sexual and romantic attraction to Kotetsu for some time now, and while it may not look it, he’s gotten pretty good at cramming it all into a box and stuffing it with all the emotional baggage Maverick left him. Every now and then, it flares up, and he feels himself heating up, his shirt suddenly becoming too tight and the people in the room too observant of the blush crawling up his neck. He catches himself thinking about what Kotetsu’s hands would feel like on his skin, if the roughness of his handshakes would translate to softness over his arms and sides, if Kotetsu would caress him like he does his daughter’s hair or a fan’s hand. Normally these thoughts catch him in the vulnerable state right before he’s about to drop off into sleep, and he wrestles them into obedience before feeling like he can rest without Kotetsu coming into his dreams any less divested of his clothes than he usually does. 

For him, it’s been a long process. Maybe ever since Kotetsu lay limp in his arms and he realized that a life without that old fool in it is a life he doesn’t much want to be a part of. These feelings aren’t always a conscious part of his daily life, but when he’s reminded they exist, he feels like Kotetsu can see right through his ruse and tear him apart for it. 

He’s thankful, at least, that Kotetsu isn’t exactly an observant person where romantic feelings are concerned. 

He’s scribbling over the last of his reports when Kotetsu walks in, looking harried and generally unimpressed with everything in the world this particular morning. He collapses in his seat next to Barnaby’s and yanks out his file of reports to be filled for that day, and for a moment Barnaby thinks it’s possible to just ignore him and let Kotetsu work through whatever funk has gotten him worked up. His strategy of hiding behind his computer monitor and staring at his name written at the top of the paper doesn’t work, as Kotetsu quickly launches into a small fit of Japanese curses before switching back to English when he realizes Barnaby isn’t writing. 

“About last night,” Kotetsu starts, his voice low and apologetic. Barnaby sets his pen down because if this is happening, if Kotetsu is going to apologize for Barnaby’s shitty behavior, he might as well pay attention. “I just, I was really -- I was being an idiot, and I just wanted --”

Kotetsu flails for the right words, and looks as if his Japanese-to-English filter has failed him, because he mutters to himself a couple of breaths that Barnaby can’t understand. He smacks his hand onto the desk, startling their secretary, and snaps his fingers at Barnaby when he seems to have found the right word. Barnaby tries to fight the grin off his face and fails. “I’m sorry. For jumping in front of that harpoon. I know I’m an idiot all the time, but that was still -- _really_ out of line. I’m sorry.”

Barnaby knew the apology was coming, but it still bothers him that Kotetsu finds the need to apologize for mistakes that Barnaby has already forgiven him for. Maybe Barnaby should start saying that, but with the revelation last night, he doesn’t have the drive to. Avoiding anything close to getting cozy with Kotetsu is number one on his priority list. 

Their secretary snaps at them to continue working, anyway, cutting through the tension in the room like a hot wire. He shoots her a grateful smile she pretends to ignore. 

Kotetsu huffs and leans back in his seat, crossing his arms, and Barnaby has to force himself to keep his eyes on Kotetsu’s face instead of drifting down to where his muscles pull at the shirt. He tries to keep his voice even as he begins to fill out the forms in front of him, his inability to accept or return the apology itching at the back of his brain. “Don’t hurt yourself trying to apologize to me. You might get a hernia.”

Kotetsu snorts, his brow raising disbelievingly. It makes Barnaby smile. “Would it kill you to say thanks?”

Barnaby shrugs. “I could wax poetic about your winning personality right here in the middle of paperwork. I’m sure Agnes would love the incomplete police debrief forms.”

“Yeah, yeah, flatter all you want, Bunny,” Kotetsu says, waving him off. When he turns to his own desk Barnaby can see his smile. 

He should say something, whether it’s an apology or a confession. He feels guilty for how he treated Kotetsu - especially with his misguided attempt at mending the little fight they had hanging between them. When they get up after their paperwork is finished and make their way to the communal gym all the heroes share, he feels like there’s still something unsaid tensing the air, crawling up his spine and keeping a distance between their bodies that isn’t usually there. 

It gets worse when he sees the old man working his ass off with a giant gash on his side that he’s not sure even has stitches. But blurting out his feelings in the middle of the gym, with the other heroes chatting and most likely tuned in to what they’re doing with how quiet they’re being, doesn’t seem like the right place.

Actually, it’s never the right place. It’s a gym, for Christ’s sake.

So he tries to look like he’s doing something. He works through all the machines, runs a couple miles on the treadmill, and spars with Ivan long enough that his ignorance of Kotetsu could be passed off as extreme concentration. When Barnaby pairs off with Karina to spar after Ivan, Kotetsu looks hurt - and doesn’t that send a pang straight to Barnaby’s heart - but he doesn’t say anything. He splits off and joins Antonio, playing off the hurt look on his face as pain from his wound. 

He intends to just let Karina beat his ass at his own game (kickboxing - he took classes in the Hero Academy as was the top player on the kickboxing team in high school), but she doesn’t seem like she’s going to take any of it. Once they’re around the elevator in the middle of the room with the other heroes out of sight and hearing range, she drops her guard right as he’s taking her down, her body pliant underneath him as he pins her to the mat on instinct. He jumps off her as she gets up, taking out his mouth guard as she does the same. 

“Why were you being such an asshole to him last night?” she says, putting her hands on her hips. 

Barnaby snorts and gestures to himself vaguely. He doesn’t feel like having this conversation. “Did you forget who you’re talking to, or did I throw you down on the mat too hard?”

Karina ignores his smart remark. “He was trying his best and you drill him for it. Do you think this is a game?”

“Game?” Barnaby throws his gloves onto the spectator bench on the wall. “Do you think I do it just to be mean to him?”

She nods at him, making a face that says _yeah, you said so yourself that you’re an asshole._

He sighs. “He gets himself hurt for my sake and I’m expected to sit by and let him do it without saying anything? No, that’s not how being partners works.”

He doesn't want to say that he's been beating himself up for the last twenty minutes over Kotetsu's apology, because that will just light her fire even brighter. She doesn't need to know that he couldn't spit out the words _I'm sorry_ to his own partner. 

“You’re unbelievable,” she snaps, cutting through his silence. "All he's ever done is try to help, and you tear him down for it.

Something hot flares up his spine, angry and uncontrollable. He whips around and drops his voice, the words escaping him without thinking about it. 

“And you’re not the one trying to keep the only person that matters in your life alive,” he hisses. “He’s the only one I have. I’m not going to let this world take him away from me a second time.”

Karina is taken aback for a moment - she jerks away from him, her eyes going wide momentarily before she can reign in her feelings. Barnaby wants to kick himself as soon as the words are out into the air but he can’t bring himself to apologize; not now with her accusations. It occurs to him that she may not know the full situation, but he doesn’t care. 

He didn’t come here to be interrogated by his coworkers.

Karina gathers herself and wrenches him back around, playing into the few weaknesses he has, keeping him occupied for the rest of the hour. The need to say something or apologize eventually dissipates, and Karina’s pissed off expression doesn’t leave her face even as she pins him to the mat with three swift kicks of her deceivingly powerful legs. If this is her way of punishing him for revealing his feelings and being unnecessarily mean, then, well. 

This wouldn’t be the first time.

///

It’s three forty-seven in the morning when his phone starts buzzing on his nightstand.

He plans to ignore it, because if it’s Kotetsu or Agnes, they’ll just leave a message or call him on his wristband. He lets the phone ring, hearing it skitter across the surface of the table with each ring. Eventually the person hangs up and he lets his eyes close once it goes silent.

Three minutes later, it begins to vibrate again. If it were possible, it sounds almost angry - but really it’s just nearing the edge of the table, and on the fifth ring Barnaby snatches it and slides it unlocked before nearly smacking himself in the face with it bringing it up to his ear.

“What do you want? It’s almost four in the morning,” he grouses to whoever the hell is calling him. He couldn’t read the name when he answered it, so he just goes for politely irritated. 

Karina’s voice carries over the line in a not-so-subtly hidden laugh, but she gathers herself quickly and snaps at him. “I called to talk to you. If I used your communicator, Agnes would be able to see the conversation. I figured you wouldn’t want that.”

Barnaby rolls over and stares at the blurry figures of pencils stuck in the ceiling. He couldn’t get to sleep, and there was only so much reality television he could take before he could feel his brain slipping through his ears. He’d thrown three or four in aimless shapes, then wasted the last two he had in his flat trying to knock several down. Nothing worked, so now he has to get a ladder to get them down. 

“What’s so important you have to call me this early in the morning? Kotetsu didn’t hurt himself again, did he?” he says, trying not to sound standoffish. 

Karina snorts. “No,” she says. “I wanted to tell you I’m sorry.”

What?

“Uh?”

“Yeah,” she says, sounding sheepish suddenly. “I kind of played you down earlier today. I didn’t mean to, but I just… I got jealous? I don’t like being reminded that you actually care about him. I forget that he’s the only one you really talk to or spend time with. I’m sorry for saying what I said.” 

His stomach sinks, because this is the second time in a twelve hour period someone has apologized to him for his mistakes. For a short moment, he thinks that Karina is going to throw it back in his face, taunt him for his inability to say anything, because he really is an asshole with the inability to say anything meaningful. But she just hums, silent for a moment, taking his silence for what it is:

Fear.

“I’m sorry,” she says again. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you. You look after him the only way you know how. I know if I was in that situation, I would have done the same thing.” She pauses, the line going silent. “Even snapping at me. I don’t blame you for that, either.”

He swallows the growing lump in his throat and forces himself to talk. He tries to pretend the gravelly edge to his voice is because of sleep. “Thank you. I’m glad we could reach an agreement on that.”

She laughs, small and quiet in his ear. “It’s more than an agreement. I want to help.”

“Help?”

“Yeah. You know, try and get it through his thick skull that you aren’t jumping through fire or bossing him around for nothing.”

Once again, he doesn’t know what to say. He isn’t usually thrown for words - scathing remarks and quick arguments come to his lips naturally. He’s lived a life where his words are sometimes louder than his actions, and if it weren’t for Maverick’s meddling, maybe he would have done something with them. He considers himself quick-witted and sharper than a whip, but when it comes to his feelings, he knows how quiet he gets. 

He remembers the looks Kotetsu gives him when he realizes that maybe he’s asked something too personal, the way he quietly backs off when Barnaby’s sharp remark doesn’t come. He doesn’t want to be like that anymore, because he knows speaking out - especially with Kotetsu - will only be a good thing. 

Opening up is the first step to trusting someone unconditionally. Barnaby knows his heart is well on its way to putting Kotetsu on that incredibly small list of people he trusts (possibly to putting Kotetsu’s name above the ones he’s crossed out, some violently scribbled out of existence, others almost with hesitence, like he couldn’t believe that something like death could bring someone to be so reluctant to put their heart in another’s hands ever again). He thinks maybe it’s already been there for a long time, but he can’t pinpoint when, and as he lays there in bed, realizing he’s been silent on the phone with Karina on the other end, that he doesn’t care, because this is Kotetsu he’s thinking about, and the old man is his only acception. 

Kotetsu has wiggled himself under Barnaby’s skin, planting himself firmly in the emptiest part of his heart and filling him up so much that he feels like he’s going to burst. He’s always been there, from the moment they were forced together like matter and antimatter, doomed to collide and self destruct. It was always going to end up like this: something bright and burning and painful, lighting Barnaby up from the inside out. 

This is all internal, of course, because it’s four in the morning now, and he’s laying in bed half naked staring at pencils stuck in his ceiling. He must have been silent going on five or six minutes now, but Karina is still on the phone with him, listening to him breathe. 

He feels his hand holding the phone start to shake, and he has to grip it more tightly to feel like he has a hold on himself. 

“Why are you doing this, Karina?” he asks quietly. “I snapped at you and haven’t even apologized, and you’re offering me dating advice?”

He can hear the smile in her voice as she answers. “Because I don’t want you to feel like I do when I see him. Every day feels like I’m breaking, and sometimes I don’t even see his face. But you do, every day, and it must be killing you inside to see him and do nothing with what’s going on inside you. It must hurt to know he’s the only person you care about and he has no clue.”

Barnaby’s heart breaks, because she’s right. 

Every day he sees Kotetsu and feels like he can’t bring himself to say anything. Even when they’re right next to each other, arms nearly touching, breathing the same space, everything feeling like it might all go right for once, Barnaby feels miles away from Kotetsu. They spend nearly every waking moment together - it already feels like Barnaby could reach out and touch indiscriminately. But there’s a barrier there, one filled with their public image, their polar opposite personalities, Barnaby’s emotional baggage and Kotetsu’s dead wife and fourteen year old daughter. 

It was a leap. Almost so far that Barnaby wasn’t sure he could make it, five minutes of unbridled superpowers be damned. 

Karina’s words ring true, though, and the longer Barnaby thinks about it, the longer he feels like he’s going to explode. But it’s not like he could run out to Kotetsu’s house and confess his feelings - and it’s not like he could sit quietly and hope for the best, either. 

Barnaby was caught in a crazy tailspin. He was falling and falling, with Kotetsu the only one at the bottom to catch him. The thing of it was Barnaby wasn’t sure he’d be willing to stick his arms out and cushion the fall. 

“You still there, Barnaby?”

Barnaby takes in a shaky breath, feeling his ribs creak and expand with it all. He swallows thickly, his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth like it was glued there with tar or syrup. He breathes for what feels like the longest minute of his life, but he doesn’t feel like he can talk until the shaking in his chest disappears. 

Karina stays quiet on the phone, diligent as he gathers himself. It’s weird to think that they were at each other’s throats earlier that day. He feels like maybe this is what being friends with someone means - you piss each other off but still call each other at ungodly hours of the morning to make sure no hard feelings have formed. 

He takes one more shaking breath before speaking. He’s doomed.

“I don’t want to make this harder for you,” he says, quietly, like him suddenly saying anything in the privacy of his own room would break whatever it is Karina is offering him. “I know how you feel about him, too, and this feels like it’s going to turn into some stupid romcom where we hiss and pull each other’s hair until Kotetsu comes to terms with his own feelings and throws the rose at one of us.”

He hears her snort into the phone. “He’s almost a decade older than you, but clearing two decades over me easily.” Her voice goes small and quiet, almost vulnerable. He realizes that she just turned nineteen this year and started her first semester at college. “Besides,” she says. “I think there’s a boy at school that might be warming up to me a little.”

She’s had this crush on Kotetsu for so long that thinking about her moving on is almost unreal, but a large part of him is happy for her. She deserves to find someone that will appreciate her beyond what she does as a hero (even though that in itself is impressive). He almost gives her the “if he hurts you talk”, but he swallows it down with a small smile. 

“Thank you,” he says. 

“Don’t mention it.” She pauses. “Really. Don’t mention it. Kotetsu isn’t going to be easy to woo.”

Barnaby chokes and sits up, flinging the covers off himself. _“Karina.”_

She has the decency to pull the phone away from her face and laugh. It doesn’t help, however, that he can hear it. “Well, that’s what you want, right? To get Kotetsu to notice?”

“I want him to notice, but if he doesn’t reciprocate, then it’s fine.”

She huffs. “Alright. Suit yourself. But just so you know, we might be talking to Nathan. A lot.”

Barnaby groans. Nathan is his friend, but his idea of getting people to notice him is dressing in skintight leather. Barnaby’s legs are nice, but not nearly as nice as Nathan’s. 

She laughs, wishing him a good morning, and hangs up. He locks his phone and tosses it onto the side table, missing completely as it slides across the edge and smacks onto the carpet. He doesn’t have the energy to retrieve it so he collapses back into bed and thinks, briefly, what a mistake he’s made. 

He can’t trust that Karina has gotten over her thing for Kotetsu so quickly, but he also doesn’t have any options. He also doesn’t know how much water Nathan’s strategies can old, but, again, he has no other plan. Pining after Kotetsu is obviously not working. 

Before he can get too far with that line of thought, his brain graciously shuts itself down, and he gets maybe three more hours of sleep before his phone starts buzzing again on the carpet, and this time, it is Kotetsu. He pretends he didn’t trip and fall on his face diving for the phone when Kotetsu goes to voicemail and explains that yeah, it’s almost seven-thirty, but he was out on an early morning walk and happened to get himself held up in a robbery and the reason why Barnaby and the other heroes haven’t been called is because the power to radio towers and ground satellites has been cut. 

Barnaby is dressed, out the door and dialing Kotetsu back before Kotetsu finishes his message.

///


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a long one, but I couldn't find any feasible place to chop it up, so here it is in it's entirety.

///

“He said he was in a bank vault?”

“ _Yes_. He doesn’t know which bank, and his cellphone died before he could give me anything else.”

Agnes sighs beside Barnaby. “But he was attacked from behind first? So how do we know that his description is accurate? He could be locked in a closet for all we know.”

“There were bank tellers in the room with him,” Barnaby says. He crosses his arms and stares at the wall of screens in front of him. Police lines and cellphone lines went down right as Barnaby made it to Agnes’ office, making tracking nearly impossible. Saito was tracking the last tower Kotetsu’s cellphone had pinged off of before the line went dead, but with the number of cellphones in that particular area of Stage Gold, it was going to take a while. He rubs a hand over his face.“Kotetsu may be an idiot, but he’s not stupid.”

Agnes laughs. “I never thought I’d hear you of all people say that.”

Barnaby doesn’t comment. He’s used to his coworkers calling out his changed behavior - and honestly, after two years of getting along with Kotetsu and the other heroes, he would think they would knock it off.

Apparently, Barnaby having any affection for anyone was still a novelty. But if he was honest with himself, he doesn't much blame them. 

Karina sidles up to his other side, arms crossed and face a similar mask to his own. “So we don’t know which bank it is?”

Barnaby looks over the screens at the numerous banks in the Stage Gold area. Saito is getting closer to narrowing down a more refined neighbourhood, but he’s still combing through several blocks. There’s at least six banks total in the area. “No. And each one has a vault. Whoever is doing this, they’ve locked the building down. Police aren’t responding because they don’t know which bank it is, either, and all phone lines are down so civilians can’t call in to report it if they haven't already evacuated.” Barnaby runs a hand over his face and under his glasses. “Kotetsu could be in any of them.”

Karina glances up at him, her eyes unreadable. He knows what she’s thinking, though, and he can feel the panic he’s clamped down under his ribs starting to bubble up past where he’s comfortable. So far his hands haven’t started shaking, but from the look she gives him, the expression on his face isn’t as schooled as he’d like.

He swallows and takes a deep breath. As soon as Saito settles on a location, they can move. At least Kotetsu isn’t idiot enough to fight with a bunch of armed weirdos with only one minute of his powers by himself.

Suddenly, an alarm starts blaring, and Agnes slaps a hand down on her keyboard and types furiously. She brings up a window with Saito’s pudgy face looking out at them, his face excited. Barnaby and Karina uncross their arms simultaneously.

“I found him!” Saito screeches. Faint typing could be heard through the speakers, and then a flat roadplan of a block on Stage Gold comes up next to his face. A building - The First Bank of Sternbild - is highlighted in red. “Police have surrounded the bank, but with their scanners down, they haven’t been able to contact us. No SWAT have shown up since their numbers are needed elsewhere to track down whoever it is shut down radio communications. I’m trying to help as well, but it looks like this bank is the best bet.”

Barnaby makes to run out the door - the Apollon Media trailer is right outside Agnes’ van - but his boss slaps a hand down on his shoulder and digs her nails deep into the meat of it. He grits his teeth and glares at her, but she’s staring at him hard enough he almost flinches.

“Don’t maim any of them,” she says quietly. “If we’re going to figure out what’s going on, those idiots are our best bet.”

He wants to say _If they have Kotetsu, I’m kicking my way through all of them indiscriminately,_ but she glares him nearly out the door, so he leaves. He dresses down in a blur, pulling on the undersuit and waiting for the computer to size him up and make sure he’s really Barnaby Brooks, jr. before putting on his armor. The weight of it is comfortable, encasing him in a physical and emotional protection that he otherwise has to build up himself. He steps out of the trailer and swings his leg over his bike, reveling in the purr of it under him, letting it all take him away from the situation momentarily.

When he takes to the road, following a predetermined route sent to his helmet via Saito, he sees Karina and Nathan following him to his rear, their vehicle’s engines overcoming his. He realizes, belatedly, that he still has Kotetsu’s Double Chaser attached to the left side of his bike, and nearly swerves into Nathan with the image of it empty coming through his visor’s camera. Maybe they realized he was driving alone, and wanted to provide company?

But really it’s just his mind coming up with things to comfort him, because this is the quickest way to Kotetsu, so of course the other heroes are going to follow him.

The thought sinks into his stomach and stays there, not quite making him feel sick, but not quite making him feel warm, either. The thought of Kotetsu trapped in a bank vault at the mercy of some weaponized goons sours it all.

He reaches the bank in only four minutes - traffic and the neighbourhood having been evacuated - and sees Pao Lin talking to the police. He unsaddles his bike and follows Karina over, adopting the calm facade he’s used to wearing in the field. The policeman looks flustered, but he leads them back behind a cruiser and waves the rest of the heroes over.

“We don’t have any communication with the civilians or the armed suspects inside,” he says quietly. “We have a map of the building, but we don’t know what they’re after, since there’s no get-away vehicle in the vicinity, and the only helicopters in the area are Hero TV camcoptors. No motive as of yet.”

“No idea on number of hostages?” Keith asks.

The policeman shakes his head.

“Alright,” Ivan says. “How about Barnaby and Rock Bison take the front of the building, Dragon Kid and I sneak in from the top and work down while scanning each floor, and Blue Rose, Sky High, and Fire Emblem cover the other exits.” He pauses and looks to the officer. “There’s only two other exits, right? I pulled up the map before I came in.”

Barnaby didn’t even think of that. He feels his suit heating up with his embarrassment. He was so focused on getting Kotetsu out of this that his usual priorities skewed.

The officer nods. “There’s an employee entrance and emergency exit near the back of the building. We have two officers watching them, but haven’t been able to go in because the rest of the department is dealing with the signal blackout.”

There’s something odd about the whole situation - not from Kotetsu’s call, but more like the whole setup of the place; the amount of police surrounding the bank compared to the amount of officers Barnaby knows are employed in the Stage Gold area alone. As he moves away from the group and approaches the bank’s double doors, he thinks maybe he’s just overshooting the whole thing, that really some stupid group of kids have decided to hold up a bank and shut down all phone and radio towers in an attempt at some white-collar crime. It’s a longshot for a prank, but it’s later in the year, almost Halloween, and if the world has taught Barnaby anything, it’s that some things aren’t exactly what they seem.

But, sometimes, they actually are.

The moment he and Antonio step into the building, the lights turn off and the electric locks click into place. When Barnaby whips around to try the door, he notices the entire street is dark - the streetlamps, the buildings across the street, and beyond, the entirety of Sternbild slowly going dark as the power grids are shut down. An ominous boom echoes down the street, shaking the glass of the bank doors - a transformer exploding, probably -  and then a silence settles over the room and the street, suddenly absent of the constant buzz of electric noise.

Barnaby turns back to look at Antonio, but neither of them have lifted up their visors. Only the faint red glow from Antonio’s face plate gives away his location.

_“Did you guys just see that?”_ Nathan says in Barnaby’s earpiece, eerily quiet.

“Yeah, Barnaby and I just watched it,” Antonio answers. He turns and surveys the wide hall, teller desks lining the walls to either side of him.

_“The doors are locked, too,”_ Pao Lin says. _“Ivan and I made it in, but I’m not sure about the staff entrance and emergency exit.”_

_“No, we’re in, too,”_ Karina says. Nathan hums his affirmation. _“So far no one seems to be around.”_

Barnaby turns back to look outside, because surely the police outside had to’ve seen the entire city go dark, but when he looks outside the glass expecting to see four squad cars parked in the street, lights rolling, he sees nothing. A newspaper leaf tumbles down the empty street, sticking briefly to the rear wheel of Barnaby’s motorcycle before collapsing and rolling again. The other hero’s vehicles are clustered near his, but where he saw the police and their cars, he sees empty spaces.

The neighbourhood around the bank was already evacuated. All the shops across the street are dark. Barnaby didn’t even hear the police vehicles start up, let alone see their lights turn off. He’d been too distracted by the darkness enveloping him.

They were alone, and they were trapped.

“Does anyone think we should go outside and check on the rest of the city?” Pao Lin intones quietly.

Barnaby can hear a siren wailing in the distance, and without the light pollution Sternbild usually produces, he can see the blinking lights against of emergency helicopters against a background of stars, flitting to their destinations. He tries the door again, rattling it on its hinges, but it doesn’t budge. His helmet’s sensors scan the glass, seeing how hard of a kick it’ll need to break, but the scan comes back reading: bulletproof.

He can’t kick it down without his powers. Maybe Antonio could weaken it with a few good punches, or even Nathan could heat it up enough to melt it, because _really_ , he came here to rescue his partner, and after twelve hours of trying to locate him, he was finally here and ready to rip the vault door open and save his partner and go home to wallow in his feelings -

_“Hello?”_

Barnaby and Antonio both whip around towards the voice, Barnaby’s visor cutting through the dark all the way to the end of the room. He can see a vault between the line of desks, directly in front of him, but an edge of it looks like it’s been pried open. He starts towards it, his steps light, echoing on the tile with small _click clicks_. When he gets close enough to see that the vault door is pried open about a foot with some sort of crank device, a light from within it shines in his face and momentarily blinds the camera on his visor.

“Bunny, is that you?”

Barnaby stops and shakes his head, putting his hand up to block the light. A figure behind the vault door is shining a mini flashlight through the opening of the vault, and when Barnaby steps closer, his camera adjusting, he sees Kotetsu on the other side, looking ruffled and worried. He lowers the flashlight and sticks his hand out once Barnaby steps close enough.

“Bunny,” Kotetsu says, his words coming out quickly. “Bunny you have to go stop them. They’re not just some rag-tag group of thieves - they’re in the police, the military, everything. I think I heard one of them saying that one of their contacts was in Apollin Media.”

Barnaby blinks. Out of all things he expected to hear out Kotetsu’s mouth after finally finding him after twelve hours of searching, some super spy infiltration team with a thing for blacking out cities wasn’t one of them.

“They what?” Antonio exclaims beside Barnaby.

Kotetsu nods, and Barnaby’s visor camera finally adjusts to the near-dark of the vault inside for him to make out Kotetsu’s features. He looks about the same as always, but his hair looks like he’s been running his hands through it, and one of his eyes is ringed black and blue. Dried blood sticks to a cut on his lower lip that he constantly licks at, and his knuckles are bruised where Barnaby can see them around the flashlight. 

Barnaby worries that his attackers have gotten to his wound from the other night, or broken anything, but Kotetsu whaps him in the face with his flashlight. Barnaby swats at it and grabs it out of the old man’s hand, shining it in his face.

“How hurt are you, old man?” he says, hoping the worry climbing up his throat doesn’t show in his voice. Kotetsu scowls through the light in his face.

“I’m fine,” he says. He gestures behind him, and Barnaby shines the light inside, forcing himself as far as he can through the gap in the vault door to get a better look. Terrified faces of men and women look back at him, some of them beaten worse that Kotetsu, others untouched. Kotetsu keeps his stare steady on Barnaby. “Others in here aren’t doing so well, though. I tried moving this door with my powers earlier, but I didn’t get it far, even with that thing they propped in the door to keep airflow.” He swallows, and Barnaby can sense his fear. “Any way you can get us out?”

Barnaby glances back at Antonio, who shrugs. He tries moving the vault door with his base human strength - tugging on it and prying himself between it. Antonio gives it a try, too, but only gets it a few inches. The hand crank already holding it open creaks whenever they touch the door, and Barnaby isn’t sure with the size of it and the thickness of the pins on the side of the door - almost bigger than the circumference of Antonio’s bicep - that he could move it with his Hundred Power. If Kotetsu couldn’t do it, then Barnaby has no chance.

He doesn’t want to say that, because this is his partner staring at him hopefully, and there’s a room full of injured civilians in there with him. But with the power down and an unknown enemy out there doing who knew what?

It wasn’t going to happen.

“Kotetsu,” Barnaby says slowly, quietly. Kotetsu is staring him down like he knows what expression Barnaby is wearing, and he probably does. Barnaby pushes forward. “If you couldn’t push this thing open with your Hundred Power, I’m not going to do much good, either. I only have five minutes to do this, and with those people out there shutting down the power to the entire city - including hospitals and homeless shelters and other places that need that power - I’ll need to save it.” He tries not to notice the steeled look slowly overtaking Kotetsu’s face. He pushes on. “I’ll find someone to open this. I promise.”

Barnaby can hear Antonio moving away, the heroes making a game plan in his ear. They’re going to push off and see if there’s anything they can do to figure out who it is that’s causing the blackout. Barnaby wants to step away, but Kotetsu grabs his helmet through the gap and forces the visor up, revealing the vulnerable look Barnaby knows is on his face.

He doesn’t want his feelings to show on his face like this. He’s supposed to be able to easily school himself into the calm, attractive hero that he has been. But when he’s around Kotetsu, all of it seems to melt into nothingness, leaving Barnaby’s heart shining bright and lonely on his sleeve for Kotetsu to see.

Kotetsu strokes what he can of Barnaby’s cheek and pushes the fringe of his hair out of his face. Now that the visor is gone Barnaby can barely make out Kotetsu’s face, but the glow of the flashlight held in his other hand casts everything into relief, his injuries most of all. Barnaby wants to be angry about it - yet another set of injuries Barnaby couldn’t prevent - but he can’t muster up the energy to be upset. If Kotetsu isn’t bothered by it, then Barnaby isn’t, either.

Kotetsu’s fingers tip Barnaby’s chin up, staring up into his eyes with a quiet intensity Barnaby is never going to get used to. He wants to slap his visor back down, pretend that that stare isn’t doing anything to him, but then Kotetsu takes a deep breath and opens his mouth, cutting through the dead silence with his whispered words.

“You can do this,” Kotetsu says. “My powers have recharged by now, and if we both pull at this thing, it’ll move. You can do it.”

They’re not exactly words of wisdom, but if one of them could budge it, maybe both of them can actually pull the vault door open. Barnaby shakes his face out of Kotetsu’s hand, pretending he doesn’t see the hurt look overcoming the old man’s face because of it. He whispers his words, a hot, fluttery feeling crawling up his throat as he does. “I know I can do it. With you, just about anything is possible.”

Kotetsu’s hurt seems to fade a bit at that, and he smiles. Barnaby slams his visor down so he feels safe enough to let out the shaky breath that he’d been holding ever since Kotetsu grabbed for his helmet. He tries not to think about other situations that might happen again, but the thought runs away from him while he’s syncing his suit with Kotetsu’s wristband, his timer crawling down to one minute as Kotetsu sets his clock.

It's not easy pulling the door open, but activating his powers on Kotetsu’s command and yanking on the vault door feels natural. The grip on his gloves make it remarkably easy to get a solid hold, and he can feel his muscles pulling with the strain, the pleasant burn of his powers coursing through his veins and down his spine familiar. His timer counts down to thirty seconds as the vault door creaks and groans, the weight of it finally budging more than several inches as their combined powers shove it open. And before he knows it, the timer in his visor ticking down to five, four, three, two, one, their combined Hundred Power shoves the vault door open with a clang, the blue glow around Kotetsu fading.

Barnaby snatches Kotetsu’s arm as he begins to sag against the door, the sound of it smacking into the wall still reverberating through the otherwise silent building like an off-tune bell. The bank staff trapped in the vault with Kotetsu scramble out three at a time, some helping others walk on their own two feet, others booking it for the locked doors at the front of the bank. Antonio and Nathan are trying to break them open, and with two charges, Antonio has broken through them with an ear-splitting crash, bullet-proof glass tinkling to the floor, Karina and Pao Lin helping the civilians over the jagged lip of the doors and out into the street.

“Good job, Bunny,” Kotetsu says, his smile huge and watery. Barnaby hauls him up and puts a hand over where he knows Kotetsu’s wound has opened up again, whether from the strain of using his powers or from whoever beat him hard enough to leave cuts and bruises, Barnaby doesn’t care. “I told you you could do it.”

Barnaby tries to fight the smile off his face, even though Kotetsu can’t see it. “You’re an idiot. You did half the work.”

Kotetsu’s smile, if possible, gets wider. “But I couldn’t do it without you.”

Barnaby’s heart leaps into his throat, almost choking him. He hauls Kotetsu up to his feet and helps him out the door, his steps slow and deliberate, copying Kotetsu’s until he gets to his bike. Kotetsu leans back on the Double Chaser, hands pressed over his side, but Barnaby doesn’t see any blood, and his visor doesn’t detect any, either. Whatever stitches he must have got must be tugging and causing him pain, though, and Barnaby doesn’t know what to do.

He’s not good at offering support. He’s never been good at it. Everything he tries to say tumbles out wrong, either by tone of voice or mixing his words up. So he puts a shaky arm around Kotetsu’s shoulders and ignores the shocked look it brings to Kotetsu’s face. His heart thunders in his chest regardless, though, and he’s thankful his suit hides most of the shaking.

Keith is settling the bank staff onto the curb outside the building as Ivan runs off to get an ambulance, and the other heroes begin to form a semicircle around Barnaby and Kotetsu. Pao Lin and Karina keep exchanging looks back and forth, and Nathan is staring worriedly out at the black looming shapes of the Sternbild skyline. The lower stages of Sternbild have gone dark as well, Barnaby notices as he follows Nathan’s gaze. But there are sparks here and there - high-powered lights hooked up to generators, emergency vehicles’ lights swiveling in and out of existence, long lines of cars stacked up on the freeway exiting and entering Sternbild.

It’s only been maybe fifteen minutes since the power went out. Barnaby doesn’t think it’s going to come back on soon.

“Anybody have a plan?” Antonio says, cutting through Barnaby’s line of thought.

Karina shrugs. “We could go to the nearest police station, but it looks like they might not be of any help. Those guys that let us in are gone, and I don’t think it’s because they had to deal with another call.”

“It looks a lot like a set-up,” Pao Lin mumbles.

“Or a diversion,” Barnaby says.

Kotetsu nods, and Barnaby shifts away, giving him more room, but keeps a hand on his shoulder. “Those officers were the ones that put us in that vault,” he says. He’s calm, not a waver in his voice. Barnaby watches him glance towards the bank staff huddled on the curb. “I was just taking a walk around town, trying to clear my head, when I got nabbed by those guys. They took me all the way from Stage Bronze to up here. I don’t remember the ride, but they threw me in there with the staff after beating us down so we couldn’t escape easily.” He drops one of his arms and yanks up the sleeve, revealing a shallow needle track. “They drugged me so I couldn’t use my powers until they shut the vault door.”

Barnaby sees red for a moment, but he clamps it down and swallows any words he’s afraid he might not be able to take back. He lets his hand run down Kotetsu’s spine, pretending the touch is just casual. “So they’re after NEXT, then?”

Kotetsu nods again. “Specifically, us. I heard them talk about contacts in our companies, plus some really heavy military force. I don’t know what they’re up to, but they’re not above getting civilians hurt or killed to get to us.”

It’s not the first time anti-NEXT groups have shown up. They crop up sometimes, in news stories and headlines, usually from their failed attempts at capturing or hurting a powerful NEXT. He’s not surprised they’re appearing now, after Maverick and Ouroboros, but he’s surprised that after so many months of silence, they’ve decided to blackout a city more full of normal humans than NEXT.

Besides, NEXT have only been around for a half century. No one knows how they came around; just that, somehow, suddenly babies were being born with powers.

Well, now that he thinks about it, it may be a problem. NEXT who can melt a tank with their thoughts could be reason enough for a splinter cell of the military to come in and try to wipe them out.

But…

“Why the heroes?” Barnaby asks quietly.

Most of the heroes turn to look at him, their gazes confused. He shrugs a shoulder and lifts his visor with the same movement. “I mean - I suppose I understand. Considering other NEXT in Sternbild, we’re the most powerful, and we’ve got the money and companies to back it up. Take us down, and you’ve got the NEXT population of Sternbild in your hands.”

Keith wanders over, hands on his hips. “They’ve tried before! If we won last time, we can do it again!”

Barnaby grits his teeth. “The entire city is dark. I don’t know anything about turning on the power - we could go back to Saito, see if he can do anything, but our communications are down for the most part. The only way we’re still in contact is because our suits are all hardlinked together. I think we need to get the power back on to really figure out if there’s a terrorist group after us, especially if all of this was to drag our attention away from whatever else might be going on. I don’t want to re-enact Jake.”

In the end, it’s the easiest argument Barnaby has ever won.

Power is essential on Sternbild, and once they get to talking to Saito, it’s almost hilariously easy to find the main power control grid and flip the switches back on. There’s no sign of terrorists around each power plant they go to, and there’s no sign of sabotage, either within the power grid itself or its activities. It’s like someone from the inside just came in, slapped all the switches down, and left. The dam turbines and wave breakers were still running - it was just the power generators themselves that were cut from the Sternbild city breaker. After twenty minutes of spreading out between each power station and flipping on the power, Sternbild is golden and glowing again, hospitals taking in the injured civilians and police departments starting a city-wide search for whoever the hell could have done this.

Kotetsu gives a report to an officer - a _real_ officer - and gets his wounds looked at. Barnaby doesn’t feel comfortable leaving his side, so he stands in the hallway of one of Sternbild’s busiest hospitals in full gear, his visor flipped down, ignoring the flustered looks of men and women alike as they flutter by. He waits for ten minutes before Kotetsu steps out of the examination room, his lip and eye cleaned, looking sunnier than Barnaby has seen him. He starts when he sees Barnaby standing there in his suit, but he waves him off and Barnaby follows him out, pushing past the few people that have a moment to ask for an autograph.

Normally he would give it to them. Right now, he’s too wound up to even speak.

“That’s not very like you,” Kotetsu mumbles, smile small but toothy on his face. He turns to face Barnaby when he gets to their motorcycles, his hands settling easily on his hips. His face glows in the street lamps lining the parking lot. “Usually you take every opportunity to buff up on your popularity.”

Barnaby swallows around the awkward lump in his throat. He throws his visor up now that they’re alone, but he still feels his expression falling apart. “I’m not worried about them. I’m worried about _you_.”

Kotetsu scoffs. “The doctors took care of me. I’m fine.”

Barnaby glares at him. “Don’t do that. I know you’re not. Your eye is black. I don’t even know if you’ve got stitches on that gash in your side. It’s only been two nights and you’ve been fussing over it ever since.”

Kotetsu rucks up his shirt, revealing the long gash running horizontal to the ground on his left side. It runs across his ribs in an almost perfect tapering line, all six inches of it stapled with bright white, fresh stitches. It’s not even bleeding. Kotetsu gives him a pointed look.

Barnaby feels his face heat up and looks away, across the parking lot. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

Kotetsu pulls his shirt back down and moves so his glare is in Barnaby’s line of vision. Barnaby couldn’t look away from him if he wanted to. “Then what do you mean, Bunny? Why are you playing these games with me?”

“Games?” Barnaby tosses his head and throws his visor down. Something like anger and embarrassment dances in his stomach, and he’s not happy about it. This conversation stings of familiarity, but he stops himself from snapping at Kotetsu like he did to Karina.“Go home, Kotetsu,” he says instead.

Well. Better than nothing.

He swings himself over his bike and starts the engine, wasting no time disconnecting the Double Chaser and speeding off across the parking lot and down the kiosk. It’s all he can do not to turn right around and scream in Kotetsu’s face, because of course Barnaby is playing games with him. He doesn’t even know why he’s doing it. All he knows is that if Kotetsu found out Barnaby is nursing something bigger than a goddamn crush on his partner, life as he knows it is going to end.

So he drives. He takes the long way around to Apollon Media, skirting around the police barricade and parking in the underground reserved spot for his bike next to the trailer. All he has to do is walk up to the SWAT line checking ID at the door and he’s inside, shirking off his armor so Saito can download everything from the diagnostics he was running while active to his visor camera footage.

_That should be interesting_ , he thinks to himself. _Nothing like revealing to the entire company that I have a thing for my partner._

He’s never thought of it like that before. All he’s said to himself is “well, I’ve got weird feelings for my partner, I should keep those under wraps because that would be an absolute disaster”. He hasn’t ever said to himself that Kotetsu is probably the only person in his life he wants to hold on to and never let go. 

The thought of the entire company finally finding out - not only from how he acted around Kotetsu, but his metabolic scans in his suit recording his elevated heart and breathing rate when he was even thinking about Kotetsu - scares him. It isn’t that he’s afraid that they’ll kick him off the company contract if he so much as sends a romantic text to Kotetsu. It’s that they’re going to take his feelings and run with it in some weird public spectacle to make them more popular.

Kaede would have a field day.

Karina catches him, somehow, as he’s leaving the building in his civilian clothes. He thinks that she’s been following him - she _has_ wanted to talk - but she looks just as startled as she is to see him leaving his own company building at four in the goddamn morning. He thinks maybe he should ignore her (because this is getting seriously out of control, he needs to sleep), but she flags him down before he can make it halfway to his bike.

His sighs dramatically and turns on his heel, stuffing his hands and his keys into his pocket. He puts on his best annoyed face, but it drops as soon as he sees her expression.

“Uhm, Kotetsu didn’t die after I left him, did he?” he says slowly, because her face looks absolutely terrified. She shakes her head quickly and as she gets closer, he sees that her face isn’t scared, it’s _livid_. He starts to back up but eventually the back of his knees hit his bike and the weight of him knocks it down, the metal and plastic of its right side screeching as it slides on the asphalt.

Karina sticks a manicured nail in his face, unheeding of his bike laying on its side. Barnaby flinches. “What were you doing, leaving him like that? Do you know how many times he said he texted you?”

Barnaby blinks, because _what_. He digs in his pocket and pulls out his phone, unlocking it in one swift movement to scroll through his messages. Eleven of them are from Kotetsu, the first few apologetic, but they slowly get more and more worried as Barnaby reads through them all. He didn’t even feel his phone vibrating, but he didn’t have it with him while he was geared up, and he’s only had his phone for maybe ten minutes. It didn’t even cross his mind to check it with the power out before.

He swallows and types out a quick _I’m fine_ to Kotetsu before pocketing his phone and turning his attention back to Karina. He expects to see her still unbelievably pissed at him, but her jaw is dropped and her eyes are wide, like she’s seen a second head pop out of Barnaby’s shoulder.

“Uhm,” he says eloquently. “Karina?”

Her look softens somewhat. She glances between his face and the pocket he stuffed his phone in and a realization dawns on him, but she beats him to it.

“You just looked worried,” she says quietly. “Like reading all those texts tore your heart out. I watched it happen on your face.”

She covers her mouth with her hand, looking like she’s going to cry, and Barnaby is _not_ going to deal with that. But he has no clue on what to do - he can barely console his own goddamn partner - so he clenches his hands for a second before deciding that maybe he doesn’t need to do anything. So he shrugs, and pretends like he doesn’t feel the twitching of the corners of his mouth turning into a concerned frown.

Karina waves her hand a minute later, anyway, and puts her hands on her lips while she gathers herself. Barnaby crosses his arms and stuffs his hands under his armpits because he really has no idea what to do. Caring for other people has never been something he’s thought much about.

Until Kotetsu, of course, and isn’t that just hilarious.

“Sorry,” she says, sniffing. Barnaby shrugs. “I just - every time I see you like that around him or hearing about him it just -- shocks me. That behind that blank face is someone who cares about him so much that you look like you’re going to be sick reading his worried texts.”

Barnaby blinks. “I really looked like I was going to be sick?”

She nods. “Or cry.”

Everything comes crushing down on him at once, because he didn’t really feel like he was going to cry when he was reading Kotetsu’s messages - really he was just worried that he might have unintentionally worried his partner for no other reason than because he’s an asshole. He’s been hyper aware of how he acts towards Kotetsu, hiding himself under the protective veneer of his normally haughty behavior to throw Kotetsu off. He’s not even sure if Kotetsu has noticed, but it’s the only way he can keep himself from drowning in his thoughts -- about how Kotetsu’s smile sends his heart racing, how Barnaby remembers each and every touch Kotetsu has graced him with, the feeling of his hands warm and comforting even when Barnaby has worried himself into a fit because Kotetsu can’t ever control the urge to jump into danger despite the harm it poses to him.

Kotetsu is so inexplicably selfless and good that it drives Barnaby up the wall sometimes because how can that be possible, but it spreads such warmth through him that it aches he can’t be even half as good as Kotetsu is. He wants to be the kind of person Kotetsu is not because he wants to copy him or build himself into something he can feel good about - he wants to be the kind of person Kotetsu can look at and think - _know_ \- that he has a partner worthy of being called a hero.

He wants Kotetsu to look at him how he knows he looks at Kotetsu. He wants to feel Kotetsu’s eyes on him and feel confident knowing his gaze is warm and accepting, not annoyed or exasperated, because that’s what they’re supposed to be: supportive and loyal to each other because that’s what a team does.

He wants Kotetsu to love him. He wants Kotetsu to love him with the all encompassing feeling Barnaby feels now, with the worry for his well-being and the knowledge that Kotetsu is going to be there far into the foreseeable future. Barnaby wants all of it, all to himself, because he’s just that type of selfish asshole to want someone’s gaze all on him.

And isn’t that what makes him want to cry? Knowing that despite all his wants and needs, he’s as good as doomed.

Yeah. That’s what makes the tears come to his eyes. That’s what Karina saw on his face.

That’s what’s coming onto him right goddamn now.

Barnaby schools himself into some sort of calm and tries to stifle the fluttering of his heart climbing up into his chest, but fails miserably. He rubs at his face and under his glasses to fight off the tears - in front of Karina, and that is not something he wants to do. But he feels the pinpricks of tears anyway, and it takes all he has not to look like he’s wiping at his face to keep them from showing.

But Karina is a magnet for everything Kotetsu related, and she zeroes in on his wet hand immediately. “Oh my God, I didn’t mean to actually make you cry.”

Barnaby shakes his head and wipes his hand on his jeans. “No, I just --” and his voice breaks, _god damnit_ , “ -- I just, didn’t know I worried him that much. I didn’t know it showed on my face like that when I thought of him.” His chest heaves as he tries to breathe, the onslaught of panic coming onto him, heavy and familiar. He can’t clamp it down even as the words come out of him like water following the force of gravity. “I try to hide it but it shows on my face, no matter how hard I try, even when he’s not around he’s right there and everything he does to me and makes me feel is right there and I never even try to think about it but he just -- comes into my head and never leaves and I -- ”

He takes a deep, shuddering breath, and Karina flutters her hands over his shoulders before papping his face a couple times. That startles him out of the small panic attack he felt creeping up on him not a moment before, but before she can take a harder hit at his face - like slapping him - he takes her hands and pulls them down gently, feeling the wet tug of his tear-stained cheeks as he smiles minutely.

“I’m fine,” he presses. She bites her lip and makes like she’s going to protest, because he’s still crying a little for reasons he’s not sure why, but he rushes the rest of his words out before she can go on. “I was just thinking about everything at once and got overwhelmed. I’m not used to saying those things about him out loud.”

Karina raises a brow. “You haven’t even admitted it to yourself?”

“Well, what am I supposed to say?” Barnaby says. "That when I look at my partner I'm not exactly thinking platonic - or G-rated - thoughts? How is that supposed to go over with _anyone?_ "

She almost looks like she’s going to laugh at him. “Uh, really well? Wanting to do those things with him is fine. Especially if you’ve got more than a passing fancy for him.” She squints at him suddenly, and he feels like he’s under a microscope with how deep her stare goes. “You do have more than a passing fancy for him, right?”

Barnaby blinks at her, because wow, they’re actually having this conversation. “I thought the crying was a little more explanatory,” he says instead.

Karina waves him off. “A lot of crushes can cause that. That doesn’t mean anything.”

Barnaby sighs and releases her hands, feeling like maybe she’s right, but she collects herself quickly and grabs his wrist. Her hands are so small compared to his, he notices, as she wraps his hand around hers, his fingers almost going around her small palm twice over. But then she catches his gaze, and it’s so sincere he almost stumbles backwards.

“You love him,” she says quietly. She tugs on his hand in hers, and he jerks with the motion, his throat constricting at her words. The underground parking lot is suddenly a lot quieter than usual. “You love him, and you’re going to tell him with my help. We’re going to fix this and you’re going to tell him and you two will be happy. Even if it kills me.”

Barnaby aches to hear her say those things, because she’s had this thing for Kotetsu longer than he’s had it, and she’s already tossed her feelings to the wind in favor for his. It’s horrible, because she’s much more deserving, much more determined than he is about this, but she’s also so confident in him he can’t help but feel like he can walk up to Kotetsu tomorrow and throw everything out on the table, consequences be damned.

But he knows it’s killing her inside, and he has to acknowledge that so she knows she’s not alone. He needs to consolidate her as much as she’s consolidating him.

“Karina,” he says quietly. She’s already staring at him, but a note of vulnerability comes into her eyes and he can’t ignore it. “Thank you,” he continues. “Thank you for all that you’re doing for me. I know it hurts to do this, but… If there’s anything I can do, please tell me.”

Karina shrugs, the soft look on her face disappearing under a mask of confidence. “Just be happy. Right now, that’s all I want.”

Her dramatic attitude change scares him, but he can read the sincerity in the line of her shoulders, so he drops it. She wishes him a quiet goodbye and traipses off into the Apollon Media building, holding up her ID card quickly to get past the SWAT stationed at the elevator door. Thankfully Barnaby is out of her line of sight (and the SWAT’s), because as soon as the doors close he rucks his shirt up and scrubs his face with it, thankful that it’s a dirty shirt he’d just thrown on when Kotetsu called him about the vault. He wipes his glasses down as well, then tucks his shirt back in before yanking his bike back on its wheels and checking it for damage.

Naturally, because Saito is a genius, there isn’t even a scratch on it, so Barnaby hurries home before he can think about his phone vibrating in his pocket the whole ride there. But when he’s laying in bed, mind still whirring, he snatches it off his nightstand and slides it unlocked, relief and worry bubbling in his stomach as he reads the only two messages Kotetsu sent while Barnaby was driving home: one a voice message, and the other a text.

_“I, uh, just wanted to make sure that you got home safely,”_ Kotetsu’s message says, his voice low and apologetic for reasons Barnaby can’t begin to fathom. _“I don’t know what I said to make you run away so quickly like that, but I called Saito and he said you dropped off your suit, so I just wanted to check in. I know you don’t like my meddling. But it’ll make me feel better to hear from you. That you’re safe. So, uh… just call or text me back, okay, Bunny? Goodnight.”_

Barnaby’s sure his eyes are wet, his vision blurry for reasons not related to his glasses sitting on the nightstand next to him. He rubs the heel of his palm into his eyes because Kotetsu is a fucking idiot and Barnaby doesn’t deserve him, but then he reads the text out of the corner of his eye and almost drops the phone on his face.

**> I forgive you, by the way. I know youre not doing it on purpose. just wanted you to know that Im not mad at you, and if you still want to do dinner before you get obsessed with finding whatever it is caused the black out… Im open to that :) Oyasumi**

Barnaby’s heart breaks.

///

When he gets up in the morning and trudges into his living room, towel still wrapped around his shoulders from his shower, he nearly drops his cup of coffee at the papers strewn about - some burned and torn up - and his chair tipped over and ripped to bits. His computer lays snapped in half in the middle of the room and the framed picture of he and Kotetsu at the Justice Parade the year before is shattered into pieces on the steps leading down to the main area. But what has him stumbling back into his bedroom to find his phone isn’t the mess and the blatant break-in slash vandalism that seems to have happened while he slept; it’s the blown picture of his face on his projector screen with smaller clippings of him taped to it, red X’s scribbled over his eyes and mouth, the words W A T C H  O U T spray painted onto the screen and wall.

He doesn’t think he’s ever dialed Kotetsu’s number faster. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait and brevity of this chapter. I got a new desktop and started schooled (plus work), so the waits might be longer. But I'm still writing, so no worries. I'll see this fic through.
> 
> Edit: I've gone through and edited the Japanese conversation Kotetsu has with his mother and added numbers to the Japanese sentences Kotetsu says that corresponds to the translated English sentence at the bottom of the page. I should have done this when it was published, but I've learned a lot as an amateur writer over this past year. Thank you for your patience :)

///

 

“Kotetsu, really.”

Kotetsu sticks his arm in the air and waves it around frantically. Barnaby thinks he means to wave Barnaby off, but with the phone in his other hand he looks more like a struggling chicken than anything else. Barnaby runs his hand over his face as Kotetsu swings around the hallway and disappears.

“I swear to God, old man,” Barnaby says to himself. He collapses back on Kotetsu’s couch, stomach aching with guilt. “Doing this all for me is not what I wanted out of this.”

“Too bad,” Kotetsu says. A blanket falls onto Barnaby’s face - he wrangles it down and glares up at Kotetsu hovering above him, leaning over the back of the couch with his face propped in the hand not holding his phone. “You’re getting the Kaburagi special treatment. The couch folds out into a - “

The voice on the other end of the line startles Kotetsu mid-sentence. Barnaby can’t hear what they’re saying, but he’s sure he wouldn’t understand it anyway, because Kotetsu launches into a long rant in Japanese. He stomps away from the couch and Barnaby sits up, following his tense shoulders with his eyes as he rounds the island in his kitchen.

“ _Iie, okaasan, watashi wa kare wa bakkinda to kakushin shite imasu_. _-_ ”(1) Kotetsu bites off his speech. He stares Barnaby down, eyes lit up in confused anger. Barnaby couldn’t fight the grin off his face if he tried. “ _Bani wa, wareware wa sore o yatta kata ga wakaranaide kyūkei shite itaga, sore wa kare no basho o gomibako ni idō shi, - mochiron, watashi wa kare no tame ni shinpaidesu. Kare wa watashitoisshoni koko ni riyuudesu._ ”(2)

Barnaby can hear the voice on the phone wail in anger from his spot on the couch - it springs Kotetsu into action immediately, and while Barnaby prides himself on his reflexes, he still flinches when Kotetsu suddenly bounds over the back of the couch and lands next to Barnaby, nearly crushing his legs. Kotetsu gets up close into Barnaby’s space, their noses almost touching, the woman (his mother?) on the other end of the phone screaming through its little speaker.

“You don’t mind sleeping on the couch, right?” Kotetsu asks. Barnaby jerks his head away, biting the inside of his cheek. Kotetsu was close enough their knees are pressed together - Barnaby has to fight not to put his hands around Kotetsu’s.

Barnaby shakes his head. He really doesn’t mind as long as he’s not in a hotel. “It’s fine, Kotetsu.”

Kotetsu smirks and leans away. “ _Anata wa ochitsuite itadakemasu ka? Kare wa watashitoisshoni kokoda, to watashitachi wa idesu yo._ ”(3)

Barnaby rolls his eyes. “Just let me get to sleep, old man. Some psycho broke into my home and I haven’t slept since.”

Kotetsu’s face softens enough that it worries Barnaby into stuttering. “I-I mean - I’m _fine_ , Kotetsu, please--”

Kotetsu hangs up on his mother with a quiet _Oyasumi_ and tosses his phone onto the coffee table. Barnaby tries to fight him off - he _does_ , goddamnit - but Kotetsu pins him to the arm of the couch, both of his big hands cupping Barnaby’s jaw as he paps him several times on the cheeks and looks him over, his face parental and nothing what Barnaby would have imagined him making if he crawled into Barnaby’s lap like he just did.

“You’re alright, aren’t you?” Kotetsu asks. Barnaby swallows and nods. “You would tell me if you were hurt or scared?”

“Kotetsu,” Barnaby sighs. He grips Kotetsu’s wrists and shakes his hands a bit, but Kotetsu doesn’t let up - if anything, he scoots closer, crowding Barnaby into the back of the couch. Barnaby’s heart jumps into his throat. “Kotetsu, please, I’m fine. Really.”

“ _Kuso, bani_ ,”(4) Kotetsu mutters, leaning away. Barnaby can’t breathe until he’s standing and pacing around the coffee table to grab his phone. “Just - tell me if you need to talk. I’m here to support you, you know that, right?”

He’s staring Barnaby down from across the living area, his eyes soft and concerned. It’s the asscrack of dawn and Kotetsu is still in his sleeping shirt and sweats, looking as disheveled as Barnaby feels, and instead of asking him why he didn’t go to a hotel or another friend’s house (like Barnaby has any other friends), he’s taken Barnaby in and given him a place to stay without a word in edgewise.

It’s the furthest they’ve ever gone for each other outside of hero work. Given the situation, Barnaby should feel grateful. But all he can come up with is a vague guilty feeling, like he’s intruded into Kotetsu’s life without much of a reason.

That’s all completely false, of course. And Kotetsu knows it.

Barnaby swallows and scratches under his chin. Kotetsu’s gaze usually puts him at ease, but lately, he’s having a harder time pinning down what, exactly, it’s doing to him. He settles for uncomfortable and drags his own stare to Kotetsu’s bare feet.

“I’ll try not to be a burden on you, Kotetsu,” Barnaby says. His words are quiet, but carry across the room all the same. Kotetsu’s face screws up as soon as they leave his mouth.

“Bunny, I -” Kotetsu cuts himself off. He lets out a big sigh, chest heaving, then comes around the table and flops down next to Barnaby, his hands gripping Barnaby’s tightly from where they hang between his knees. Kotetsu’s voice drops as the distance between them narrows.

“You’re not a burden, alright, bunny?” Kotetsu says. He leans so Barnaby has no choice but to stare him in the eye. “You are the furthest thing from a burden. Someone came into your place and basically wrote death threats - that warrants hanging out with your old man of a partner. Even if something like that didn’t happen, you have permission to come over whenever you want.”

Barnaby nods his head, but he can’t get any words out. Kotetsu rubs his rough fingers over Barnaby’s knuckles - it soothes Barnaby in ways he didn’t know was possible, because it’s a stupid little gesture that’s meant nothing to him since he was four years old. But when Kotetsu does it, it feels like the past few days never happened - he feels like he can stand up and look Kotetsu in the face without feeling like his heart is bursting out of his chest.

Kotetsu grips his fingers in one last effort, then stands up, his comfortable heat and weight leaving Barnaby’s side. His hand slides up Barnaby’s bicep to squeeze his shoulder as he steps away.

“Help yourself to the t.v. and fridge,” Kotetsu says quietly. “I’ll be in the upstairs bedroom if you need me.”

Once again, words fail him, so Barnaby just nods. Kotetsu bobs his head and trudges upstairs, a soft “ _Oyasumi_ ” drifting after him. Barnaby murmurs his goodnights, but he’s not sure he said them out loud or just in his head.

Barnaby leans back and curls up in the corner of the couch, trying to make himself as small as possible in the dim light of Kotetsu’s living room. He pulls the comforter Kotetsu left him over himself and tosses his glasses on the coffee table, the numbers on the digital clock across the room going from 4:47am to a blurry blue blob. The sounds of Sternbild outside rattle inside Barnaby’s skull for what feels like twenty or so minutes, but then the soft, almost nonexistent sound of Kotetsu snoring wafts down the stairwell, and before Barnaby knows it, his thoughts stop racing and his heart stops thumping against his ribs as exhaustion finally, finally overtakes him.  

He falls asleep quickly, the sound and smell of Kotetsu’s apartment surrounding him in a blanket of warmth stronger than the one wrapped tightly around his shoulders.

 

///

 

“You two are hopeless.”

Barnaby bangs his head on the tabletop, rattling their plates and silverware. He feels Karina bat him on the back of the head with his phone, so he sits up straight and grabs it from her. She takes her headphones out of it and wraps them around her fingers before putting them back in her purse. Her smile is absolutely predatory.

“Well,” she amends. “ _You’re_ hopeless.”

“I didn’t mean for him to send those things,” Barnaby says, put off. “He decided to send them. And let me spend the night at his house. This is half his fault.”

Karina takes a drink of her water before settling him with a playful glare. “Say that all you want, because you were the one that called him in the first place. He’s just reacting to you at that point.”

Barnaby groans and stuffs his phone back in his pocket, ignoring the disgusting leer Karina gives him across the table. He pushes his plate away once the waitress comes by, and Karina leaves a hefty tip before the both of them get up and leave the tiny diner. It’s on the outskirts of Sternbild - far enough away to see the entirety of Sternbild and its three stages but close enough to still hear traffic noise. Barnaby didn’t want to disturb Kotetsu’s morning, so he left early before the old man woke up and texted Karina to see if she wanted to do anything that didn’t include being suffocated by his partner’s affectionate personality or being on call with Agnes all day.

Most days, Barnaby liked being a hero. But with the blackout - and the unknown culprit of Kotetsu’s capture and the vandalism of Barnaby’s living room - still fresh on his mind, he doesn’t really mind the idea of being a normal civilian.

Karina, however, had other plans. Instead of the pages of information about this new threat Barnaby knows they’re supposed to be looking at, she’s already bogarted his phone and read every text and listened to every voicemail Kotetsu has sent him, weaseled every detail about their “sleepover” out of him in under two minutes, and proved that he isn’t keeping all of the dorky pictures Kotetsu keeps taking of himself on Barnaby’s phone to blackmail him, but because Barnaby is really, really into this deep. He tried fighting back, but wrestling his phone out of her fingers in the middle of a busy diner wasn’t very dignifying as one of the most popular hero celebrities out there. So he settled for watching her scroll through every single text he’s sent Kotetsu with an uncomfortable smile plastered on his face.

Embarrassing him seems to be her favourite pastime lately. He doesn’t know why he lets her torture him like this.

He decides he’s going to point that out.

“I thought you were supposed to be helping me - not rummaging through my phone in a horribly veiled attempt at looking at what Kotetsu sends me in comparison to what he sends you,” he says, right as she’s reapplying her lip gloss.

It smears across her face, a bright, glittery glob plastered on her cheek. She wipes it away with the palm of her hand before he can pull his phone out and take a picture of it. Her ears turn bright pink even as her words come out scathing.

“I knew you would never get over being the asshole,” she says. “It’s a wonder he texts you cute things and sends you pictures of his bed hair. He must not have anything else exciting in his life.”

It hurts even as he tells himself that it’s just a reflex for her to call him an asshole. “I just thought I would point out the obvious. You know me - king asshole.”

She huffs. “How did you know?”

“That you still have a thing for him?” She looks over at him, her brown eyes wide and slightly afraid. He stuffs his hands in his jeans pockets and shrugs, nonchalant. “You aren’t subtle, Karina. Neither am I, sure, but you’ve been coveting your crush for three years. No one gets over it in a night - especially because someone else happens to like him, too.”

“What?” She whips around and to stare him down, but this time he doesn’t flinch back. “I’m trying to encourage you and this is what you have to say to me?”

“I’m just saying,” he says. “I’ve been feeling like you’re only doing this because you want to see me fail. Or, at least, see how it feels to love someone who won’t love you back.”

Karina crosses her arms, her coat bundling up around her like a protective shell. It creates the illusion of her puffing up like an angry cat - it would be funny if it weren’t for the absolutely livid look marring her pretty features. Barnaby swallows and leans against his bike, thankful they’ve made it to the relatively empty parking lot.

“I’ll have you know,” Karina starts slowly, the anger draining out of her with each word. The sudden tension that had built between them suddenly disappates, leaving behind bittersweet understanding. “That I’m doing this because I know what it feels like to chase after someone and not have them notice. I know how he looks at you, Barnaby Brooks _Douchebag_ , and if you would just say something, everything will turn out better than you think it will.”

Barnaby is shaking his head before she even finishes. He settles into the long, shallow seat of his bike, the shape of it comforting him only minutely. He doesn’t look at her as he reaches to start the engine. “It’s not going to work out like that, Karina. The most I can hope for is a no, and I don’t think I can take hearing him say that.”

He doesn’t wait for her to reply, because he knows it’s going to be something like “well, douchebag, he’s already said no to me already, and he hasn’t even said it to my face”. He starts his bike around the noise of his thoughts, but it’s too quiet to drown out anything substantial, so he revs it and takes off, thankful that at least Karina can drive herself now.

He knows, in some part of his mind, that he’s overreacting. He’s being what Antonio calls a _priss_ , and it hurts a little to apply that word to himself, but as he slows and parks at a small park near Stage Bronze of Sternbild, he can’t help but feel like his behaviour has been nothing but prissy. He’s taking this thing and blowing it up beyond anyone’s control, at a time when he should be putting his hero work first to protect the citizens of Sternbild.

He’s attacking people and generating arguments that he has no right creating. He’s being an ass, but for some weird reason, he can’t keep himself from doing it. It’s like a kneejerk reaction.

Something inside him tells him to push people back. It’s tearing him apart.

While he sits back on a bench under a tree that, because of the overcast weather, doesn’t provide much shade, he thinks about what his parents would say to him. He doesn’t remember a whole lot about them besides passing images of their faces and what they looked like after the murder (however brief and messed up the memory was now, thanks to Maverick), but he thinks maybe they’d want him to say something. Probably not to Kotetsu - or a man at all, for that matter - but if Barnaby had feelings at all for anyone, they’d want him to say something, at least. They would probably tell him to stop being an ass, too.

At least he hopes so. He was a quiet kid and didn’t make friends easily; one of the few memories Maverick didn’t mess with had been of his mother scolding him for not speaking up when he felt sick.

Barnaby’s phone vibrates in his pocket, buzzing against the wood of the bench and startling a stray dog wandering by in front of him. He yanks it out of his pocket and taps on the message without seeing who sent it.

**> Bunny, why are you sitting alone in a park on a cold day without a jacket**

Barnaby whips around to look behind him, scanning the scant lawn and parking lot behind him before spotting Kotetsu’s SUV parked next to his motorcycle. He stands up, knees feeling weak, his gaze drifting around the perimeter of the park before catching on Kotetsu walking down the sidewalk towards him, grinning like an idiot.

Barnaby can feel his guard dropping the closer Kotetsu gets, and as soon as the both of them are seated on the bench (maybe a little bit further than usual, but Barnaby pretends not to notice), the nervous thorny feeling blooming in his chest is gone. Usually it’s triggered by Kotetsu’s presence, but for whatever reason having him there, invading Barnaby’s space, feels like having a soothing wave wash over him.

“No, really,” Kotetsu says. He waves a hand in front of Barnaby’s face to catch his attention. “It’s not even seventy degrees and you don’t have a jacket. Where’s your leather one?”

Barnaby swallows and shrugs. He honestly didn’t notice the temperature, even while driving. “People notice me when I wear it. When I’m in public I don’t wear it if I don’t want to be noticed.”

Kotetsu’s face scrunches up into something unreadable. “Where were you before?”

“With Karina. At the diner not too far from here.”

It’s the wrong thing to say. Kotetsu doesn’t have a “shutting down” expression, but whatever he’s making, eyes guarded and shoulders suddenly tense, Barnaby is sure that’s the closest he’s going to get. He knows he set off from Kotetsu’s place before the old man woke up, but he didn’t think it would be a problem. He was on Kotetsu’s _couch_ , for God’s sake.

This is the exact opposite of what Barnaby wants. He wants Kotetsu to open up to him, not close himself off.

“It’s not what you think it is,” Barnaby says quickly, unconsciously scooting closer to put a hand on Kotetsu’s shoulder. Their legs are pressed together now, one long line from hip to knee. “We were just having lunch. I didn’t get much sleep and I needed someone to talk to.”

Kotetsu doesn’t move, but Barnaby can feel the tension coiling in his muscles. “And you didn’t call me?”

“No,” Barnaby says immediately, because that’s the truth. Then he realizes what he said and rushes to get the rest of his words out. “I mean - I needed - I’m in an odd place right now, Kotetsu, and I thought talking to you would only make you stressed. You were just kidnapped and beaten by some unknown gang of people, and the night before that, you were shot with a _harpoon_ ,” he says quietly, staring into Kotetsu’s eyes. “I didn’t want to make you any more stressed than you were.”

The lie tastes sour on his tongue, and Kotetsu doesn’t seem to buy it. He breaks Barnaby’s stare and turns to look out towards the rest of the park, his gaze aimless. Barnaby drops his hand.

They’re not usually like this. They’re inseparable, they look out for each other, they cover and dodge and protect each other even when they know the other can do it just fine on his own. Barnaby doesn’t know when it started, but it’s like a connection has been built between them, pulsing and alive and just about the best thing Barnaby has ever experienced, because it means Kotetsu trusts him enough to unblinkingly follow in his steps and Barnaby does, too. It’s why they’re such great partners - it’s why even though they bicker, they can still buck up and save the day, because without each other, they wouldn’t shine as bright.

They even have the same power. It’s like the universe is throwing Barnaby a chance and Barnaby has done just about everything to destroy it, trying his damndest to ruin what they have without even trying.

He’s crashing and burning, and he’s taking Kotetsu with him.

Kotetsu stands abruptly, wiping his hands on his slacks as he does. He slides his leather jacket off his shoulders and holds it out to Barnaby, brown eyes that are usually so warm as cold and dark as glacier ice.

“You should go talk to Agnes about the blackout,” Kotetsu says quietly. Barnaby meets his eyes even though he feels like he’s going to break. “She’s compiled enough reports from the police that she thinks she has a good idea about who did it. It’s not as big as we thought, but it’s worth looking over.”

“You went already?” Barnaby says in a small voice.

Kotetsu shrugs. “I didn’t want to wear you out. You didn’t sleep, did you?”

Kotetsu has always been good at that - at reading him like an open book. Barnaby doesn’t want it to bother him, because usually it doesn’t. But right now, it’s like the twist of the knife in his side.

He shakes his head.

Kotetsu makes a low sound in his throat. “I thought so.” He pushes the jacket into Barnaby’s hands. Barnaby takes it. “Go to the company building. She should be calling the other heroes soon to give them the debrief.”

Barnaby wants to ask how Kotetsu knows all of this before he does (they’re partners, after all, and usually hear about these things together), but he doesn’t, because he knows how hypocritical that’s going to sound. So he stands and nods to Kotetsu, and Kotetsu does the same before putting his hands in his pockets and walking away. Barnaby watches him cross the grass and parking lot, open his car door, get inside and drive away. Kotetsu doesn’t ever look back.

An angry feeling settles in Barnaby’s gut, and this time, it’s familiar. It’s the same hot, solid rock that forms in his stomach whenever he tries to sort through the memories Maverick destroyed and distorted. He knows he’s justified in feeling this way about Maverick, because sometimes he still wakes up in the middle of the night with his sheets tangled around his legs and his body coated in sweat because he felt the fire on his hands and saw his own face holding the gun, his parents’ bodies limp and soaked in their own blood, bullet holes in their heads because of him. He knows that when he looks at himself in the mirror, the anger he feels is aimed in the right direction.

This time, though, he’s not justified in being angry at Kotetsu, because his partner is just reacting to what Barnaby is putting him through. Barnaby is being an emotional wreck. Kotetsu is confused and most likely angry that his partner isn’t talking to him when Kotetsu has done nothing but stay open to him.

God knows what’s going on in his head, what he thinks Barnaby is doing during the time they usually spend together - what he's doing with _Karina_. All Barnaby hopes for is that he can get over this stupid romantic thing he has for Kotetsu so they can resume being partners like normal.

He slings on Kotetsu’s jacket and zips it up, thinking for a second that it’s not going to fit him with the old man’s broad shoulders, but it fits him fine, the curve of his shoulders and Kotetsu’s matching perfectly. Beneath the smell of leather Barnaby can smell Kotetsu’s cologne and the air freshener from his car, a strong scent of citrus and earthy tones normally muted on Kotetsu’s person made stronger now that he’s wearing his jacket. It calms the roiling in his stomach long enough for him to make it to his bike and pull his helmet on, but then the seal of his helmet cuts the smell off, sinking him into the soundless environment of foam and plastic.

“ _I know how he looks at you, Barnaby Brooks_ Douchebag, _and if you would just say something, everything will turn out better than you think it will._ ”

He slams his visor down, the world tinting pink, a cold calm coming over him. As he pulls out of the parking lot, it begins to rain.

 

///

 

“Are you sure being a hero works like this?”

Maverick nods, his face kid and patient. He leads Barnaby around the table and sits him down in front of his food before sitting across from him.

“You really must put yourself before anything else,” Maverick says. “A hero who works alone and values himself over the others is sure to win the Hero of the Year award. If you do that, your parent’s killer will surely come out of hiding.”

Hero TV is on in the other room, the excited voices of the announcers filtering through in a quiet warble. Barnaby picks up his knife and fork but doesn’t make a move to eat before Maverick does.

He’s turning twenty next week on the day of his graduation, and a large part of him is afraid of leaving Hero Academy. It isn’t that he’s going to be leaving an environment he loves (and excels in) - in fact, he’s happy that he’s gotten this far with Maverick’s support. His teachers and instructors have helped him get this far in accomplishing his goal, but he’s still too far away from reaching it.

His parent’s killer has been out there sixteen years and all he’s done is go to school. Maverick tells him it’s all in good time; he should be happy he’s already so close. But all he feels when he wakes up is anger.

Anger at himself, at the world, and especially at the heroes. They’ve done nothing to track down Ouroboros. In fact, they seem blissfully unaware of it all, like he’s the only one in Sternbild who has any idea of what Ouroboros has done to him.

Maverick taps his fork against his glass of water, catching Barnaby’s attention. Barnaby jerks back into focus and looks across the table, the uncontrollable rage bubbling up under his skin fading as Maverick smiles good-naturedly at him.

“What’s on your mind, Barnaby?” Maverick asks.

Barnaby picks at his food now that Maverick has started eating. “You know what I’m thinking about.”

Maverick’s chuckle doesn’t overpower the suddenly loud cheering coming from the television, chanting of Wild Tiger, Wild Tiger rattling in Barnaby’s skull. Barnaby’s eyes flicker to the screen and stick there, Wild Tiger’s image proud as he holds the culprit of today’s crime over his shoulder, other arm bent and fist planted on his hip in a generic pose Maverick told him never to adopt. Wild Tiger lets the police take the criminal from his hands before turning his attention to the cameras, smile huge, soot lining the strong line of his shoulders and sticking in his beard, evidence of his scrabble with the house fire the arsonist he arrested started.

“ _You were amazing out there, Wild Tiger!_ ” the announcer gushes, shoving his microphone into Wild Tiger’s face once he gets close enough, his cameras following after him. “ _This is the biggest win we’ve seen from you this year! You even managed to keep the building from falling down on top of the other heroes! How do you feel?_ ”

“ _Ahh_ ,” Wild Tiger starts. He waves a hand - his powers have already deactivated, but even without them, Barnaby can see his considerable bulk. “ _It’s all about helping people. To be honest with you, I didn’t even notice the building! My focus was on the people the idiot that started the fire trapped in there. It doesn’t matter about how I feel as long as the people of Sternbild are safe!_.”

“ _That’s so like you! The damage fines weren’t even on your mind!_ ” the announcer says.

Wild Tiger laughs, loud and nervous. Barnaby looks away back to his plate, his appetite somehow leaving him.

He wants to be like that. He wants to catch his parent’s killer so they can finally be put to rest, but he wants to save people because that’s what the heroes on Hero TV do. He wants to step up to the plate and do his best not because justice calls for criminals to be punished, but because the people need to be protected from those that wish them harm. He wants to protect the peace while also upholding the law.

He wants to be like Wild Tiger.

Barnaby swallows, a thought coming to him.

“Why can’t I be like him?” Barnaby says suddenly. “He cares about the other heroes too, and he’s almost at the top of the pack.”

Maverick smiles and sets his fork down. He wipes his mouth before speaking.

“Almost,” Maverick says. “He’s _almost_ at the top of the pack.”

“But he’s also doing a lot of good.”

Maverick shakes his head, and Barnaby knows that the tightening in Maverick’s features isn’t because of how much he ate.

“Let me tell you something, Barnaby,” he says, shifting and standing up in his seat. Barnaby stays where he is, a shock of fear coming up his spine as Maverick’s hand sinks onto his shoulder and clamps down. Maverick squats down next to Barnaby, his voice in Barnaby’s ear.

“It’s not about doing good,” Maverick says lowly. His voice slithers down Barnaby’s skin like oil, coating him in a layer of sticky fear. Barnaby’s body goes stock still in his chair. “It’s about catching your parent’s killer. You climb to the top as the best hero out there, your parent’s killer comes out of hiding, and then you take him down. That’s your job. That’s what you were born to do, Barnaby.”

This conversation feels familiar, but Maverick jerks him out of his chair and pushes him down the hall to his room before he can put a finger down on it. He rushes past the living room, Wild Tiger’s smiling face still plastered on the screen, and quietly shuts his door behind him when he gets to his room, fear sending his heart into a fluttering tailspin.

He doesn’t agree with Maverick. He knows that being the best he can be while helping others is what will get him to the top - not stepping over the other heroes like they were disposable paper cups, useless under Barnaby’s boots.

He wants to be like Wild Tiger: strong and courageous and ready to help. He wants to be able to look at himself in the mirror and feel pride in who he is and who he sees instead of the angry failure his parents’ deaths have left him. Not this livid, twisted thing he feels himself becoming whether by his own volition or not.

Maverick lets himself into Barnaby’s room later that night, but Barnaby is fast asleep, his mind having shut down quickly after he finished watching the rest of the Hero TV coverage. Maverick sits down on the side of his bed, his hand stretching out to touch Barnaby’s pale curls peeking out from the top of his comforter, skin glowing blue.

When Barnaby wakes up the next morning, he remembers nothing of his argument with Maverick or the sudden, unfamiliar drive to go against what Maverick wants for him. The memories of the previous day are replaced with those of a trip he had with Samantha when he was younger, except Maverick takes her place, the switched positions making it remarkably easy for him to overlook the similarities. He doesn’t remember the fear he felt when Maverick put his hand on Barnaby’s shoulder, he doesn’t remember the meal he ate at dinner, and, most importantly, he doesn’t remember Wild Tiger’s face or his words.

Everything is gone. When he meets Kotetsu for the first time, he doesn't draw the connection - but an empty feeling settles into stomach, cold and rabid, just a little bit on the side of familiar. 

 

///

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) No, mom, I'm sure he's fine. 
> 
> (2) Bunny had a break in. We aren't sure who did it, but it trashed his place and - of course I'm worried for him. That's why he's here with me. 
> 
> (3) Can you please calm down? He's here with me, and we're fine
> 
> (4) Shit, Bunny


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, SO sorry for the delayed wait on this! I've got a lot of this written already, but I started fall semester and I have one more to go before I transfer from the college I'm in now to the new one a town away. It's been a kick in the pants, to say the least, but I'm back! Hopefully until this monster is finished, at least. Thank you so much for the wait. However, that doesn't mean I won't leave you all on a cliffhanger. B)

///

The call Agnes sent them on turns out to be a false alarm.

Well, sort of. They get there in time to see the shadow of someone escape through a brick wall, leaving the heroes with nothing to do but stay behind and gather what evidence they can. Barnaby didn’t even have time to change into his suit because he was standing in the middle of a grocery store when he got the call - “This is urgent! I don’t care if you have to come dressed in sweats and a t-shirt - they match the description of the NEXT that escaped, so you’re _going_!” - so now he’s standing here in the middle of a gun shop on Stage Bronze, his boots crunching over glass while Kotetsu follows him, armor clicking.

“So,” Kotetsu mumbles. Barnaby turns partially to look up at his partner - it bothers him, no matter how irrationally, that he can’t use his height over Kotetsu to his advantage with Kotetsu in his armor and Barnaby in his civilian clothes - his gaze as open as he can allow it. Kotetsu catches it for a moment before flicking it away, his face scrunched up into something unreadable.

“So?” Barnaby copies. He crosses his arms, coming around to stand in front of Kotetsu and glare. Kotetsu stops in front of him, armor glinting white and green in the dim light from the single bulb that survived the ransacking of the shop.

Even with his bulk, Kotetsu looks like he’s shrinking under Barnaby’s stare - it makes Barnaby feel a little better that even as bare and rattled as he is now, Kotetsu can’t meet his eyes for more than a few seconds. But only slightly. 

Kotetsu swallows and scratches at his cheek. “Just - so. You and, uh.” Kotetsu waves a hand at Barnaby. “You and Karina?”

“Uh?” Barnaby starts eloquently. He smacks Kotetsu’s hand down away from him, briefly revelling in the embarrassed look that crosses his partner’s face. “Me and Karina? Kotetsu, she just turned nineteen. I’m twenty-seven. She’s going to _college_.”

“So?” Kotetsu snaps. “Tomoe was two grades older than me, and we still had Kaede.”

“Two grades is only a couple years!” Barnaby says exasperatedly. He can’t believe they’re having this conversation at a crime scene. “Karina is almost a decade younger than me! No! How are you coming to this conclusion, anyway?”

“What, like you don’t know?” Kotetsu says. “You’ve been spending so much time with her, I just figured -”

“Oh my God, Kotetsu.” Barnaby runs his hands over his face and hair, pushing up his glasses in a vain attempt to rub off the embarrassment he can feel climbing up his neck. Kotetsu is veering so off course it would be funny if this were any other situation - but to Barnaby, this is the furthest from a hilarious conversation. If he doesn’t diffuse it now, Kotetsu is going to continue with this line of thought until he runs himself into more false conclusions.

“Sorry,” Kotetsu mutters, sounding genuinely apologetic. It makes Barnaby’s skin burn with guilt - how many times as he snapped at people and not apologized lately? “I guess it’s your business what you do with Karina. I mean, not that you’re doing anything, but --”

“Kotetsu,” Barnaby says slowly. He turns to look Kotetsu in the eye - Kotetsu stares back at him, his face guarded and body turned away from him. It hurts to see him like this, especially because Barnaby could have easily prevented it by sucking up his stupid pride and making the effort to actually talk to his partner. The words tumble out of Barnaby’s mouth before he can stop them. “I’m not dating Karina, or - or _trying_ to date Karina. I’m trying to date someone else, but he’s way out of my league and Karina has been trying to build up my confidence. That's why I've been spending time with her. That’s _it_.”

Kotetsu’s jaw goes slack. Barnaby looks away, his face growing hot now that he’s (partially) revealed why he’s been avoiding Kotetsu for so long. He doesn’t feel threatened at all, but Kotetsu’s face is knowing when Barnaby decides to look at him. An uncomfortable rock settles in his stomach as Kotetsu fights his expression into something more neutral and glances away, clearing his throat.

“Oh,” is all he says after a while. Barnaby nods, crossing his arms.

Not another word is shared between them. Kotetsu leaves all too quickly when they’re given the go-ahead, but Barnaby doesn’t blame him. After how Barnaby treated him at the park and his revelation just now, all Barnaby wants to do is sleep.

Or spend time with Kotetsu now that a miniscule weight has been lifted off his shoulders. He doesn’t think Kotetsu would appreciate that, though, and Barnaby isn’t ready for the onslaught of questions he knows Kotetsu would ask him.

So he settles for sleep.

///

 

As it turns out, he forgoes sleep _and_ time with his partner. He should really invest in a therapist. Or at least a daily planner.  

Agnes didn’t really have as much as Kotetsu said she did, but Barnaby prints everything out anyway and makes a map of sorts on his bed. A lot of the police reports are useless - evacuation reports and civilian casualty counts (only two fatal, the other two hundred or so people injured and in the hospital). The maps of crime reports that happened during the blackout are spotty at best, and the activity reports in government buildings and the hero company buildings are normal. The only odd, out-of-place activity going on during the hour or so overall lack of power had been the police officers that weren’t police officers at the site of Kotetsu’s imprisonment.

Even that is shady. Barnaby can’t figure out, with all his knowledge and connections, who the hell had been there at the scene or who had vandalised his apartment. For all he knows, it could have been one very well-orchestrated prank. Shutting down the power to the entirety of Sternbild and breaking into Barnaby Brooks jr.’s house is one hell of a bragging right.

What does catch Barnaby’s attention, however, is the complete lack of military involvement. Usually anything bigger than hero and police activity piques the interest of the local National Guard, but during the evacuations, the military was strangely quiet. No help in evacuations even though they had the vehicles and manpower to do so, no offerings of generators and medical help he knew they had the means of providing. Absolutely no movement.

It’s a stupid idea, though, so he slides the papers off his bed and shafts them into a folder on his bedside table. He throws his glasses on top of it and flops onto his back after undoing his belt.

He dozes for a while, conscious, at least, of his body lying in bed, his limbs spread eagle and his breaths coming even and slow. The air conditioner kicks on at some point but he doesn’t know when, and the quiet traffic sounds coming from far below are comfortably familiar. After a while he drifts off, everything in his head quiet and unassuming for once in his miserable, fucked up life.

And then something warm and rough touches his leg and slides up his calf, startling him out of his half-sleep. He jerks his leg out of the way and sits up, expecting to see some weird serial killer fan of his creepily staring at him from the end of his bed, but the familiar blurry face of his partner stares back at him, all warm eyes and gently smiling face.

Barnaby jerks up and yanks the covers off himself, thankful, at least, that he decided to fall asleep dressed in what he wore that day. Kotetsu stands from where he was kneeling at the end of Barnaby’s bed, unaffected by the horrified look Barnaby knows is twisting his face. He can’t even see anything very well without his glasses, but he knows what Kotetsu looks like with his eyes closed, knows that Kotetsu is staring at him like always does: with unbridled care and affection.

Barnaby swallows. He scrambles for his glasses and jams them on his face, feeling his hands begin to shake. This isn’t happening. “Kotetsu?”

“Yeah, Bunny?” Kotetsu answers. He steps around Barnaby’s bed and sits on the edge next to Barnaby’s hip, still smiling. Barnaby can’t move. “I just thought I’d come over and… set everything straight after what you told me.”

_Straight_. Barnaby’s heart is going a million miles a second, slamming against his ribs and choking him. He sits up and slings his legs over the side of the bed opposite of Kotetsu and makes to get up, but warm, familiar hands catch his hips and drag him back, and Jesus Christ Kotetsu is grabbing him.

“I can’t do this, Kotetsu,” Barnaby says quickly, yanking Kotetsu’s hands off of him and standing up. Kotetsu doesn’t look put off, simply sitting there on the bed, clasping his hands between his knees. He’s wearing those stupid goddamn slacks and suspenders, and it’s killing Barnaby to stand there in his rumpled shirt and jeans, his belt undone because he was too tired to pull it from his waist all the way and his hair a goddamn wreck. He can feel himself tensing and coiling, ready to jump away the second Kotetsu makes a move for him, but a small part of himself is telling him to let Kotetsu advance. An even smaller part of him is telling him to make the first move, get this all out of way so he can get what he’s been craving for close to two years now.

Two years. Two years of sexual and romantic tension sitting in the air between them, and Kotetsu is grinning like he’s known Barnaby has been winding himself up around Kotetsu the whole time.

Kotetsu stands slowly, his hands harmlessly at his sides as he takes the ten steps around Barnaby’s bed to stand near him. Barnaby watches him the whole time, eyes locked and body tensed. Kotetsu reaches for his hand and Barnaby, for the life of him, doesn’t know why he lets their fingers intertwine.

It feels nice, though, nicer than he’s ever imagined, and before he knows it, he’s smelling Kotetsu’s cologne all over again, its scent wafting over him because Kotetsu is standing under the stupid vent to the air conditioner. Kotetsu is looking at him like he always does - with love and affection and so much loyalty Barnaby doesn’t know what to do with it all. But he knows it’s all real, and he knows that’s what attracts him to Kotetsu so much. It’s what has him tailing Kotetsu like a lost puppy, what has him catching Kotetsu when he falls and ribbing him when he stands back up again. He hopes that, someday, some of that loyalty and goodwill will rub off on him.

Kotetsu’s other hand, big and warm, trails up his side, startling Barnaby enough that he jumps. But it’s hard for him to stay tense so long under Kotetsu’s stare - he lets Kotetsu slide his hand up his ribs and around to his back, lets him take a step closer and hold him like they’re going to slow dance, his body relaxing every moment they share the same space. Kotetsu leans close and Barnaby can feel his breath on his face and his bangs tickling his cheeks, and even though Barnaby is two inches taller he feels like he’s being folded into Kotetsu’s arms as his hand crawls up his back and presses between his shoulder blades, warm and protected. The room is still dark and Barnaby is still dressed in his old clothes and when he glances over Kotetsu’s shoulder to see what time it is, the clockface reads 2:03am.

And then Kotetsu is kissing him, his lips soft and chaste, stubble chafing against his chin, breath escaping him out of his nose and Barnaby droops in his arms, boneless for only a second before his hands are reaching around Kotetsu’s arms and gripping his shoulders, his neck, his jaw, anything his fingers can touch as he steps closer to feel more of this.

An electric shock trembles down his spine when they separate to breathe and come in again, the kiss open-mouthed and desperate now. Years of tension breaks in two seconds, and Barnaby can finally breathe, his hands roaming up Kotetsu’s arms and down his chest, his fingers pushing Kotetsu’s suspenders off his shoulders, Kotetsu’s hands coming up to pull them off the rest of the way to dangle against his legs. One of Kotetsu’s hands fits under Barnaby’s ear and behind the nape of his neck, lifting back his hair for him to trail kisses from the corner of Barnaby’s mouth to his jaw and throat. His beard leaves a sharp tingling feeling in its wake, and when Kotetsu begins to suck under his jaw, right where it hinges beneath his ear, he feels a ragged sigh escape him, fingers tightening in Kotetsu’s shirt where he was sliding them over Kotetsu’s stomach.

They’re stepping closer to each other, Barnaby extremely aware of Kotetsu’s wandering hands. Kotetsu’s chest and stomach press into Barnaby’s and his hands slide around to Barnaby’s lower back, fingers trailing further down to his beltline, mouth still sucking kisses into his neck and collarbone. Barnaby’s back arches when he bites and sucks under his chin, head tilting back as far as he can without falling over, breaths coming fast. Barnaby pulls Kotetsu closer by his shirt and yanks Kotetsu back to his lips, the both of them inhaling as their mouths smack together again, loud wet noises overcoming the whirring of the air conditioner in the room. Barnaby’s never heard kissing that loud before, but it turns him on knowing it’s him and Kotetsu making those sounds.

Quite frankly, everything about this rubs Barnaby the right way, and within seconds of Kotetsu’s hands diving down the back of his pants and squeezing his ass with just the right amount of pressure, he forgets about Kotetsu breaking into his apartment to apparently snap the tension building between them. A part of him in the back of his mind actually appreciates it.

Kotetsu has been stepping back the entire time, shuffling towards the end of Barnaby’s bed with each kiss. Barnaby feels him sink back onto the mattress, his hands pulling out of the back of Barnaby’s jeans to grip his legs as Barnaby brackets Kotetsu’s thighs with his knees, their mouths still connected in a series of short kisses Barnaby feels himself becoming addicted to. He cards his fingers through Kotetsu’s hair - it’s coarser than he expects, but he falls in love with how it feels against his palms and between his fingers. He pushes himself into Kotetsu’s lap and wraps his arms around Kotetsu’s neck, the hurried attitude that overcame them before turning into something slow, something Barnaby heavily appreciates as he feels Kotetsu’s warm hands press up his sides and down his chest.

Kotetsu is touching him. Kotetsu is touching him, his tongue down Barnaby’s throat and Barnaby’s name rolling off his lips in his low, rough voice. Barnaby feels like he’s dreaming, but then Kotetsu’s fingers trail up the back of his shirt and he knows those hands from handshakes and shoulder claps and other constant touches, bordering on romantic but always in safe places like wrists and shoulders. Kotetsu’s breath ghosts across his face in quick puffs as they pull away, eyes lidded and hungry, and all of this, no matter how much Barnaby wants to doubt this, is real.

“I love you,” Barnaby says suddenly, the words coming out of him in a quiet breath on the backstroke of a kiss. He cups Kotetsu’s face in his hands, choking back happy tears now that he can finally do this, and kisses him again just because he can. He can feel Kotetsu smiling against his lips. “I’ve loved you since you told me to pull that trigger on the H0-1.”

Kotetsu huffs a laugh against his cheek and wraps his arms around Barnaby’s waist, tipping back until they’re laying down, Barnaby’s weight on his chest. The lights from the towering buildings outside catch on his hair and in his eyes, making their warm caramel color glimmer. “I love you too, Bunny. I’m sorry it took me so long to say anything.”

Barnaby is so happy - so irrevocably happy that he can’t even bring himself to say anything else. He feels his face splitting into a smile, and Kotetsu is still warm and close, breathing the same air and smiling like the idiot he is. Barnaby’s heart is expanding so much in his chest that he forgets he’s running on four hours of sleep he caught two days ago and he forgets about how Kotetsu got that black eye that’s already fading. This is the happiest he’s ever been since Kotetsu got signed back on as his partner in the First League, and for the first time since, he’s not scared of Kotetsu seeing it on his face.

He leans in to kiss Kotetsu again, the weight of him under his body so much more comforting than he ever thought possible, but before he can press his lips against Kotetsu’s in a kiss he never wants to stop, his wristband starts shrieking and he jerks awake, his body sweaty and trapped under the comforter on his bed.

He blinks at the blurry bedroom door across from him, breathing ragged and sharp in his throat, his shoulders shaking. He yanks the covers off himself and steps out of bed, grabbing his glasses on the way and putting them on before whipping around to survey the room. He’s alone, the room still dark and the air conditioner off, the clockface next to his bed reading 2:31am. His hair is rough in his hands as he runs his fingers through it, realization dawning on him as his wristband continues to blare at him, Agnes’ name flashing with each consecutive ring.

It was a dream. All of it, a dream. Conjured up by his lovesick brain because he’s being such a jackass about this that it didn’t know any other way to help him cope.

Barnaby staggers back against his bedside table, knocking the fat file filled with police reports and emergency protocols and other useless information that yielded him nothing in his search for answers earlier that night onto the floor in a flurry of paper. He drags a hand down his body, feeling the phantoms of Kotetsu’s fingers under his shirt and his lips on his skin. He can still smell Kotetsu’s laundry detergent from his clothes, and Barnaby is sure the feeling of Kotetsu’s face in his hands wasn’t made up. But when he looks around his empty, sad room, sweat clinging to the back of his shirt and his hands shaking, he knows all of it was fake.

He shuts down. He shoves all of things he felt from phantom Kotetsu’s hands and mouth into a padlock box and kicks it into the furthest reaches of his mind, where all the twisted and mangled memories he still can’t sort through dwell, and gets dressed. He lets his wristband shriek and wail for a full ten minutes, letting the sound ground him as he brushes out the knots in his hair and puts on fresh clothes. He takes a disgusting amount of time threading his belt and looking for his jacket. Even when he has the keys to his apartment and his wallet in hand, he walks a loop around his freshly cleaned living room before finally walking out the door and into the elevator. Only when he’s gotten to the ground floor and he’s pushing out into the parking lot, pacing to his motorcycle with his helmet under his arm, does he answer Agnes’ call.

“What,” he snaps, swinging a leg over his bike and kicking the stand up.

“What took you so goddamn long to answer the call?” Agnes snaps back, her voice livid. “Do you even realize how much time you’ve cost us? Wild Tiger is already here and ready to go, and you’re taking your sweet time doing whatever it is you’re doing.”

Barnaby jams his helmet on but keeps the visor up so Agnes can hear him. “Just tell me what’s wrong so I can get this over with.”

She sighs, but gets on with it, apparently finding his attitude worth avoiding. “We think we found who’s doing this. A NEXT, but not one we’ve ever witnessed before. We think they’re on their way to shutting the power off again - but this time for longer than an hour. The hospitals can’t last that long on their generators. You heroes are going to stop them.”

Naturally. “Just send me the coordinates. I’ll be there.”

“No,” Agnes says. Her tone brooks no argument. “Come to Apollon Media, get suited up, and then you can go. Wild Tiger will meet you at the launch zone.”

She disconnects before he can answer.

Barnaby flips his visor down and starts his bike, its gentle whirring soothing the thorns he feels pricking at his skin from the dream. He tries not to think about it, but he’s going to be seeing Kotetsu in no less than ten minutes, and the thought of Kotetsu even smelling the arousal on him kills him. Kotetsu would never see him as his partner again. It’ll ruin everything.

_Everything._

He clamps down on his heart throbbing in his throat and speeds down the highway, screeching into the Apollon Media underground parking reserved for the hero staff and practically runs into the building to get suited up. He ignores Saito’s warnings about his armor - he’s not done with testing, so if his armor suddenly doesn’t perform how it’s supposed to, duck out and let Kotetsu handle it (like Barnaby will ever do that, even with a dangerous romantic attachment building) - and he ignores Agnes rattling commands at him once he gets his helmet on. Everything in his vision has tunnelled into one single focus that he’s tempered to near-unbreakable on the drive over.

But once he sees Kotetsu, he knows he’s fucked beyond recognition.

Because Kotetsu smiles at him, gives him a thumbs up, and it’s like their argument the previous afternoon never happened. Kotetsu has forgiven him already, and when he asks why Barnaby didn’t answer his calls or texts, Barnaby giving him an excuse (that he left his phone at home and didn’t even read the texts at all, even though it’s a bold-faced lie, because if it’s from Kotetsu he reads it, no matter what it is), he isn’t even phased. He gives Barnaby another bright smile and tells him it’s alright, it’s not a big deal, he was just worried about him, I know you’ll do great out there today, so let’s do this.

Barnaby is _fucked_. He’s fucked, and he can’t even say anything in return. He just takes his glasses off and flips down the visor of his helmet, hoping Kotetsu doesn’t see it as an end to the conversation, because even with the dream still singing under his skin he wants Kotetsu to know that Barnaby is there for him.

His heart is banging in his chest and he knows this has swerved so far off course he’s can’t even dream of fixing it anymore, but he wants to be there for Kotetsu. If nothing else, at least he could say he stood there by his partner’s side and protected him with all he had.

Because that’s what partners do. Come Hell or high water.

///


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super sorry for this late update - school and work got in the way. But now that finals ended last week and the holidays are nearly over, I'm back. Not long to go now, but I'll try not to leave unannounced like that again. Thank you for all the kudos and comments - I read each and every one as I got them, and I have to say I didn't expect this fic to get this popular. It's not as popular as others, but a lot of you seem to like it, so I'll see this through just for you guys. :)

///

Barnaby was a controversy when it was first introduced he would be Kotetsu’s partner.

Two NEXT with the same power hadn’t been documented before. With the amount of super powered humans in the world, it was easy to track who had which powers, and NEXT whose powers actually arrived had to register with the NEXT Preservation and Documentation office to get medical benefits and other things to protect them from government and public scrutiny. When Barnaby got documented, he didn’t think much of it - he was asked a few questions, he was told another NEXT was out there with the same powers, and that was it.

It wasn’t an issue to him. So what if he had the same power as someone else? So what if this was a previously undocumented occurrence?

But it _was_ a big deal when he was paired up with Wild Tiger. Not to Maverick - who set up their partnership - and not to Barnaby and Kotetsu, who were aware of each other in the peripheral way but not much else. They were a big deal because they were the only two NEXT with the same exact power - down to the minute - and they were pairing up together as heroes.

_That_ was the problem. Because if they had the same power, the were vulnerable to being torn apart, either by outside forces or each other.

At first, Barnaby took it as a challenge. Kotetsu was an obstacle to overcome. He liked having the same power as Kotetsu because it meant he could show the world how much better he was at using than Kotetsu was. Their time limits were the same, but Barnaby could go through an arrest without damaging any public or government property - Barnaby could take down droves of criminals in the same amount of time it took Kotetsu to waste his time.

Barnaby reveled in it. He was better than Kotetsu, even with the same power. He could prove it time and again.

But then he found out how compatible they were - how easy it was to deal with a partner with the same power as he did. He knew what Kotetsu felt when he activated his powers because Barnaby felt it too. He knew Kotetsu’s limits because he had the same ones. He had a five minute time limit and an hour long cooldown. He knew how far he could push himself to keep his powers effective, and not overexert himself in his excitement, because Kotetsu was there to mirror his same exact concerns.  

It was a game of competition at first, but then it grew into what their partnership is now. They understand each other in ways the other heroes can’t grasp because their powers are so radically different from each other. Barnaby and Kotetsu weren’t ever destined to be paired up with another hero because their powers would be useless with someone who could produce fire or ice on a whim.

The only way they could have existed was to meet each other. Kotetsu’s powers may only last one minute, but he’s still just as strong and fast and powerful, and Barnaby is grateful for that. He can’t imagine what it would be like to be with someone who has a power so different from his own - Golden Ryan had been a powerful partner, but Barnaby couldn’t sync himself in the same way he can with Kotetsu. Having the same power comes with complete understanding of each other, even if their personalities and habits are different.

It’s easy to work around Kotetsu. It’s easy to fight by his side knowing his limits, knowing his thought processes, knowing exactly which move he’s going to make before he makes it. It’s a dance they’ve perfected over three years, and they’re the only two in the spotlight who can perform it because they’re the only NEXT with identical powers.

Barnaby didn’t care about it at first. It wasn’t something that mattered to him - Kotetsu could have been anyone for all Barnaby cared about his partner back then. But now, knowing that they are really, truly the only NEXT in the world with the same power, he takes comfort in it.

There isn’t anyone else on the face of the planet that completes him so perfectly. He could try and meld his edges with someone else, but he knows he wouldn’t fit, because his rough corners can only fit with Kotetsu’s. They were made for each other, and that’s what keeps Barnaby going.

He knows in his bones he was made for Kotetsu, and Kotetsu was made for him. The only problem was Barnaby willing to let himself fit together with someone as perfect for him as Kotetsu?

///

_“Bunny?”_

Barnaby whips around, the rain making it incredibly hard for his visor camera to pick out any movement beyond twenty feet in front of his face. Kotetsu’s voice rings a cry in his ear, and Barnaby activates his shoulder jets and jumps, flying sixty feet before landing in the mud with a thick thunk, his boots sticking in the rich, red clay. Sternbild is only a couple miles away but it looks like it’s further, a shimmering glimmer of buildings and traffic in the distance, and it’s the only point of reference Barnaby has because he can’t even see the other heroes, let alone the bright green lights of Kotetsu’s suit.

_“Hey, Bunny,”_ Kotetsu says again, his breathing ragged. _“I think we’re underground. It’s not raining.”_

What?

“What?” Barnaby says. Something splashes behind and he turns with the sound, his visor picking up nothing, not even a heat signature. His powers are still recharging, but it’s only ten minutes until he can use them again. He’s been mucking around here for fifty minutes? Since when?

Nathan hums in his ear then, a soft, testing sound. He doesn’t say anything for a minute, but then he comes on over Barnaby’s helmet’s internal speakers, voice lilting. _“We’re in the power station, Handsome,”_ he says. _“Somehow we got separated from you.”_

“That much is obvious,” Barnaby says. He can hear the annoyance in his own voice. “What do you think I’ve been doing out here? Doing jumping jacks?”

Kotetsu laughs, and the sound makes Barnaby grimace. He jumps with the aid of his jets again, landing and scanning around him, seeing if there’s anything out in the rain that can clue him in to how the everloving fuck he got separated from all of the heroes. One minute they were fighting a NEXT with powers eerily similar to Pao Lin’s, and the next, the lights of Kotetsu’s suit were gone from Barnaby’s peripheral, Nathan and Pao Lin and Karina’s voices in his ear were gone, and the other heroes that had been corralling the NEXT with plasma powers disappeared as well, leaving Barnaby up in the rain for close to an hour, searching for where they could have gone in a literal microsecond.

They were near a power station, that was for sure. But true to Saito’s word, his navigational systems were completely gone, leaving him completely in the dark - literally. He didn’t even have his suit lights to guide him along the ground.

He feels like he should have bumped into _something_ by now, or his eyes should have adjusted - something  - but instead he’s hit nothing but open space, the rain pattering a rhythm onto his back.

He was alone.

“Can you guys give me a hint, at least?” he asks after a while, getting annoyed with the weight of caked clumps of mud on his armor. He stops stomping around for a moment to get a breather, his legs screaming from the near-constant workout of pulling through sticky wet clay. He takes a deep, shuddering breath before continuing. “I have no navigational systems, so I need some sort of pointer. I don’t know how well you can guide me since I’ve basically been turning myself around for close to an hour while we were out of contact, but I’m literally stumbling around in the dark. I can’t find anything.”

_“Well, we’re in a room,”_ Antonio deadpans. _“With lots of wires.”_

“Beautiful,” Barnaby sighs. “Let me just dive underground and find you guys that way.”

_“I could use the wires to send power up to the external part of the station,”_ Pao Lin offers, her voice sheepish. _“I don’t know how well it would work in the rain, but it could spark on the transformers and offer a guiding point.”_

Barnaby breathes a short sigh of relief. “Thank you. Please do that.”

Not a moment later, transformers hanging from power poles directly in front of him spark with power, rippling in the rain and igniting briefly before cutting out. Their bright light leaves an imprint on the back of Barnaby’s eyelids, and whenever he blinks, he sees the image in flickering blue and green spots.

The sparks of Pao Lin’s power did exactly what she said it would, and Barnaby jumps again, jets spitting behind him as he flies through the cutting wind and lands on concrete, the image of the steel door leading down under the power station bright in his memory because of Pao Lin’s electricity.

Barnaby feels for the lever doorknob and yanks it down and out, the door screeching open. He jumps inside and pulls it shut behind him, dank darkness broken by small, bare bulbs leading down a long flight of metal stairs greeting him on the other side. The constant rumble of rain against the mud and his suit disappears as the door shuts, leaving him with only the sound of his ragged breathing and the water droplets dripping off his suit and onto the concrete floor.

“Thank you, Pao Lin,” he says quietly. He breathes in, out, and in again. Blinks a couple of times. “I’m inside.”

He can hear the smile in her voice as she answers, small and appreciated. _“You’re welcome. Now please find us. We’re lost.”_

Barnaby doesn’t waste any time.

As he’s skipping down the stairs, taking two at a time, he wonders, briefly, why none of the heroes haven’t broken out. It’s a power station, so it’s not like there’s a vault in here to trap them, and as he makes it to the bottom of the stairs and sprints down the hallway, he sees signs pointing to administrative offices and other parts of the plant. He rounds a corner, armor screeching on the floor as he skids down another hallway, thinking that even with damaged navigational systems he could make it through the plant and out to the surface in no time flat, but then he suddenly slams into a wall, his visor cracking back against his forehead and sending him flailing back onto the concrete.

He doesn’t know how long he lays there - seconds, minutes, hours, even - but he can feel blood trickling down his forehead and back into his hair, warm and thick. Feeling slowly returns to his limbs after a while, so he gets up, arms weak, knees wobbly. His world tilts and rolls, the visor camera shorting out a couple times before returning with a fuzzy picture of a steel wall in front of him, slightly dented from where he rammed the forehead of his helmet into it at full speed.

He barely has time to flip open his visor and asses the damage done to his head when he’s suddenly yanked forward by his ankle, his vision blurring and the back of his head smacking against the concrete. The steel wall opens up as he’s being pulled forward, armor sparking as it drags along the floor.

Barnaby shakes his limbs out and grabs at whatever he can near him, fingers slipping off smooth wall and thin pipes as he’s pulled along, vision shaky and breathes coming quickly. After a few seconds of breathless scrabbling his fingers clasp around a thick enough pipe and he hangs on, flinging his other hand around to grip it and pull himself against the thing wrapped around his ankle. He groans as he pulls against its tight weight, feeling like he’s going to be quartered, but he catches a glimpse of what’s yanking him and almost loses his grip from what he sees.

It’s a goddamn _bear trap_ clamped around his shinguard.  

“Oh my God,” he breathes, shaking his leg, the trap and chain attached to it rattling loudly against the concrete. It snaps and hisses against the floor, sparking wildly. The pipe he’s holding onto creaks dangerously as he moves, but he can’t find the will in him to stop once he hears a sharp snap and a stinging pain shoots up his leg, realizing at once his goddamn hip is dislocated with the trap still attached to his ankle.

The pipe snaps with an angry shriek of metal and then he’s being dragged again, but this time he doesn’t fight it, so paralyzed by pain that he can barely breathe. He vaguely hears Kotetsu yelling in his ear, voice high-pitched and worried, but he can’t make out the words he’s saying - can’t figure out if they’re English or Japanese or something else over the pounding of his blood in his ears. He feels himself going oddly stiff, the pain of his dislocated hip pulsing up his leg, feeling like he’s on fucking fire. The pain of the wound on his forehead doesn’t even compare to the feeling of tendon and bone scraping against each other inside his body.

He doesn’t feel when his armor stops scraping against the floor, but he does feel hands shoving at his armor and fingers trying to pry open his visor. He blinks and suddenly everything is in focus again: he can see Kotetsu and Karina above him, the other heroes bundled together beyond them in a circle like some weird halo. He swallows and then he can hear their voices, the thrumming in his ears replaced by Kotetsu’s harried voice.

Barnaby doesn’t even remember why he was trying to avoid Kotetsu before. If he hadn’t tried to keep them separated during the fight earlier, maybe they wouldn’t be in this mess.

God damn, he’s an idiot.

“Bunny, are you alright?” Kotetsu says. Barnaby blinks and realizes his visor is gone - they must have pried it open, dented though it was. His gaze finds Kotetsu’s when he speaks again. “Bunny,talk to me. If you’ve got a concussion we need to know, because you’re bleeding pretty badly.”

Barnaby swallows around the painful lump growing in his throat and tries to form the correct words. He wiggles his fingers - no pain there - but once he tries to wiggle his toes, pain flares up his right leg like an explosion. He groans and squeezes his eyes shut, trying to shut it out with the physical action of shutting out the world.

“Are you alright?” he hears Kotetsu ask again, but quieter.

“No,” Barnaby says. He doesn’t even bother to lie. “I ran into a wall and my visor smashed into my forehead, and then when I was fighting this trap around my leg, it dislocated my hip. I feel like I’m on fucking fire.”

He opens his eyes to the touch of someone pushing his fringe out of his eyes, and sees Kotetsu’s blurry face above him, fingers in his face, face tender and smiling. Barnaby just wants to die because of that, but as the world would have it, no saving grace strikes him out of existence, so he just smiles back even though it hurts to do much more than breathe.

He goes to sit up and look around - because where the hell had he been dragged to, really? - when a searing hot pain engulfs his entire body, choking the breath right out of him in a startled wail. He falls onto his back again and arches his spine, feet kicking, feeling like his entire body is going to break in two when suddenly it’s gone, cut off like someone snipped a ribbon with scissors. He scrambles onto his elbows and looks down at himself and sees Keith’s hands on his dislocated hip, the grille on his helmet staring him down, hiding his face.

“Sorry,” Keith says, quiet, like he’s going to startle Barnaby right out of his suit. “I figured I should fix it before you decided to make it worse.”

Barnaby stares at him, the lack of pain surprising him into a momentary silence. He gathers enough of himself to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth. “How do you know how to do that?”

Keith shrugs. “EMT classes.”

A low chuckle rolls around the heroes, all except Kotetsu and Barnaby. Kotetsu helps him up, an arm under Barnaby’s shoulders. Barnaby leans into it for all he’s worth, a sharp spark shooting up and down his leg when he puts weight on it. It disappears quickly, though, so he puts weight on both feet as Kotetsu takes his arm away, putting his hands on his hips.

Silence falls over the room, the single bulb in the room the heroes are standing under doing nothing to break the darkness of the vast space around them. Barnaby can see the hulking shadows of generators hanging in the outer edge of the light cast by the bulb, but beyond that  he can’t see anything. Dripping sounds echo back to him, and he realizes belatedly they’re from his still-soaked armor.

“Wires,” Barnaby says slowly, turning to look at Antonio. “All of this space, and you came up with wires.”

Antonio chuckles lowly, but it’s nervous, and not anything like Barnaby has ever heard. Antonio doesn’t say anything else, even when Barnaby makes a “go on” gesture with his hand.

Barnaby gives up, rolls his eyes. “So you were all just standing here, waiting for me to show up? For a goddamn hour? How did you guys get away from me so fast, anyway?”

Kotetsu makes an odd sound in his throat next to him, and when Barnaby turns his gaze to him, Kotetsu looks pointedly down to his ankle. Barnaby looks, and instead of the normal, uninterrupted expanse of Kotetsu’s shinguard, a cuff-like ring has been fixed over the flared end of his sabaton, dull brushed steel with interlocking pieces circling it. A green light blinks on its inside edge.

Barnaby scans the other hero’s feet and, sure enough, each of them have the same fixture around their ankle or calf, each with a green blinking light. The only one without a circlet is Barnaby himself, the trap having been removed earlier when Kotetsu had pried his visor up. Barnaby has a sinking feeling he knows why.

“Bombs,” he says quietly, and the heroes nod along with his discovery. “You’re all standing here in this room because they’re proximity bombs, so the moment you move out of this room, you --”

“Explode,” Kotetsu supplies, finishing his sentence. “She left us a note when we woke up. She’s the one that dragged you down here.”

That NEXT. The one that escaped after they brought her in that night Kotetsu got shot with the harpoon. The one that kidnapped Kotetsu and threatened Barnaby in his own home. “And gave me the heads up?” Barnaby breathes, something sinister dawning on him.

Pao Lin nods. “That wasn’t me. She fed us the lines, but all of that was her. She did the light show, she dragged you here, everything.”

“Why?”

“To fight you,” a voice calls into the room, eerie and echoing. Barnaby jerks his head around, the wound on his forehead causing his vision to jump, but he finds the source of the voice quickly: a woman standing under another lit bulb above them on a catwalk. She’s dressed in what appears to be military dress, her shirt crisp and tucked into her dark slacks, badges gleaming on her chest, her hair pulled back into a professional bun.

Barnaby blinks as she flips over the railing and lands near them, just inside the light’s reach. Power races down her arms as her eyes and skin flicker blue, charging the air with tension. Barnaby swallows and takes a step towards her, trying to subtly put Kotetsu behind him. The woman grins, her teeth sharp and crisp against her dark skin.

“You’re a powerful NEXT, Barnaby Brooks, jr.,” she says. She takes a couple steps, circling them, then stops. “Your power only lasts five minutes, but you pack such a punch that you’ve got the military interested. You should be honored.”

Since the previous night, when Barnaby  had gathered all the information from Agnes and poured over it through the night on his bed, he’d had the inkling that the military was involved in this. He couldn’t figure out how, or why, but the idea settled in his mind and wouldn’t leave him alone despite every instinct telling him that he was wrong. What would the military want with TV show NEXT, anyway?

Apparently, a whole lot more than he imagined.

“I see that look on your face,” the NEXT continues. She’s smiling still and it sets Barnaby on edge. “I see you connecting the pieces. What would the Air Force or Marines want with a handful of NEXT getting their paycheck from crime?”

“You don’t want us for anything,” Barnaby says, realizing just as he’s saying it why this woman is giving him the evil doer’s monologue instead of destroying him like he knows she can, injured as he is. “You want us gone because our unpredictability makes it harder for you to control NEXT powers.”

“Where do you think you came from?” the woman snorts. She stops, suddenly looking cross. “You think NEXT just appeared out of thin air, some mutated gene being passed down through a large part of the population? No, genetics doesn’t work like that. If this was genetic, we’d be able to contain it better.” She takes a deep breath and stares Barnaby down like he was the sole purpose everything had gone to shit. “No. NEXT came about because of testing. A lot of testing with careful distribution among healthy subjects. Now it’s raging out of control, flitting from person to person, and we can’t control what powers people get. There’s the useless ones, like yours,” she says, pointing to Ivan. Ivan gasps, and Barnaby grits his teeth. Then she points to Barnaby and Kotetsu, and her smile is suddenly predatory. “But you? You’re powerful. You could deal a lot of damage, even with that hour long recharge time. You’re a danger.”

“So you’re going to kill us,” Barnaby says evenly.

She smiles. “You’re not just pretty, are you.”

And then she’s there right in his face, her fingers digging into his armor and prying the pieces apart. He drops down and swings his leg into her ankles on instinct, knocking her own feet out from under her, and then jumps back, jets aiding him, his visor coming down clumsily with its dented edge. The rest of the heroes scatter back to cover while she gains her footing and Barnaby’s suit computer syncs up to Kotetsu’s timer, his own dropping from five minutes to one, then holding stable. His recharge timer reads two minutes and fifteen seconds.

“I’ve got two minutes,” Barnaby says evenly into his helmet, hearing Kotetsu hum his affirmation in his ear. The NEXT gets up, her power flaring and reigning in, lashing out at Nathan on the far edge of the room and then swinging around to where Barnaby is standing on a generator.

He flips back easily, landing on his good leg and then darting behind another generator. Snaking plasma follows him around and snaps at the extensions on his helmet, but he jerks away before they can do any more than flicker his HUD into colorful noise. He bounces easily between the wall and the generator ahead of him, finding a brief moment to gather his surroundings without his navigational systems.

“Fight me!” the NEXT shrieks, angry and desperate. She rounds after Barnaby at full speed, but a blur of green and gold rams into her, slamming her into the concrete wall, cracks forming as her power charges up the wall and snaps at the ceiling. Antonio hops back from her to a safe distance, drills whirring.

_“We’ll distract her,”_ Antonio says sternly. _“You come in at the openings we give you. We can’t leave this room without the bombs going off, though, so stay here and kick her down before she can get up.”_

“Got it,” Barnaby says, and then he’s moving, shooting across the open space in front of him. He slams into the NEXT before she can extricate herself from the crater in the wall and steps back after letting his suit take the brunt of the impact, swinging a leg up and kicking her out of the concrete.

She flies to the side, landing and sliding into the ground with a grunt, Barnaby following after her immediately. She recovers with a well-timed flip, landing on her feet confidently. She raises a column of power before Barnaby can correct his flight path - he cuts his boosters but she bats him with the surge of power anyway, sending him into a generator, breath choking out of him as she pounds and pounds electric waves against him.

He drops to the ground after only a few seconds, and when he gathers himself enough to clamber to his feet, he sees her in a painful pinned lock, her arms twisted behind her and face pressed into the floor. Kotetsu has his hand around her wrists and his knee digging into her lower back, and as Barnaby steps closer to knock her out, a shock runs up his spine, up the soles of his feet and to the crown of his head, lighting him up from the inside out with a painful burning feeling. When she lets him go, she’s across the room, Karina blocking her in ice and Kotetsu laying on the floor, slowly getting his feet under him.

“She’s all yours!” Karina shouts, dropping her guns and reloading them as quickly as she can while Barnaby sprints across the room, his recharge timer counting down fifteen seconds. By the time he gets there and Kotetsu is on his feet, his timer reaches zero.

He feels power race up and down his body. His suit lights shine brightly where before they were completely dark, and an energy builds up under Barnaby’s ribs that’s powerful and familiar. He likes this feeling - can _control_ this feeling - and every time he activates it it’s like the first time all over again, surging and addicting.

His timer is counting down fifty-eight seconds when he springs into the air and sends his foot into Karina’s ice, Kotetsu’s fist connecting into it on the other side. They crack and shatter it easily, like a hot knife in butter, and the NEXT trapped inside swings at them, power arching up and around to catch either of them. Kotetsu slides out of the way and Barnaby doesn’t even have to try to dodge, because this is an old dance to him, familiar and warm. It takes no effort at all to kick off from the wall opposite him and fling himself at the NEXT again, a flurry of kicks and punches as Kotetsu whirrs in and out of his vision.

Kotetsu runs interference while Barnaby nails the NEXT while she’s distracted - they’re too fast for her to track now that their powers are activated, her electric charges winking out of existence quickly once she realizes she has no chance. She tries to shield herself once Kotetsu’s timer ticks down to thirty seconds, bringing up a wide dome of power over herself, but the familiar ticking and transforming of their suits beats her to the chase - Good Luck Mode activates at twenty-nine seconds and Kotetsu and Barnaby are slamming into her, one kick and one punch, timed perfectly after years of practice and muscle memory.

She drops to the floor, limp but breathing, as Barnaby shoots past her and Kotetsu skids to a halt near her. Barnaby’s suit is already transforming back to normal, and once he touches down, the feet of his armor are back to normal size. When he turns to face Kotetsu and the NEXT, Kotetsu’s suit is back to normal, too, and by the time Barnaby walks across the space to where the NEXT is lying, Kotetsu’s timer ticks down to zero, his suit going dark while Barnaby’s timer zooms back up to three minutes and fifty-seven seconds.

The power in the plant kicks on right as the NEXT collapses onto her back, unconscious. The room lights up and the generators whirr to life, the once-silent cavern booming with turbulence. The other heroes come to circle around their fallen enemy, most of them hiding near the edge of the room still inside their safe zone. Barnaby stands over the NEXT, flipping his visor up to get a better look at her, but his vision is blurrier than it is without his glasses on. When he goes to touch his face, his gloved fingers come back red.

“You’re still bleeding,” Kotetsu says, breathless from the fight. Barnaby turns at his partner’s quiet voice, startled - Kotetsu is looking him with worry. Barnaby swallows down the guilt and nods his head, regretting the motion immediately.

“I’ll get it looked at,” he responds. Kotetsu nods after Karina informs them all she’s called the police and paramedics.

Barnaby looks down at the NEXT in front of him again. He doesn’t fully understand her motives, but when the police arrive and the paramedics take a look at the long gash on his forehead, he doesn’t think he wants to find out. When she comes to she’s going to be interrogated, and they’ll probably be sent after whoever it is told her to eradicate the heroes, but he doesn’t let himself worry. A bomb squad arrives as well, and after only ten minutes of looking at the cuffs around the heroes ankles, they have them deactivated and safely set off a distance from the power station. Whatever great plot that had been unfolding here, blackout, vandalism, and Kotetsu’s capture included, it’s all been put to a stop.

Well, for a time being. Until whatever it was that was planned came to bite them in the ass because they decided to let their guard down.

And, because the universe decided to really dig it in, when Barnaby was cleaned up and the heroes were cleared to go, Kotetsu invited him to dinner the next night.

_Really._ Barnaby was going to strangle himself before the week was out, he was sure of it.

///

 


	7. Chapter 7

///

“Wait, she was _that_ NEXT?”

Barnaby nods, slapping the manilla folder of papers down on the table. He slides into the seat next to Kotetsu like the empty booth on the other side doesn’t exist. Kotetsu, for the most part, keeps his composure, but his fingers are already working the metal pin off the lip of the envelope to take the papers out. Barnaby waits until he’s shifting through them to say anything else.

He grabs the NEXT’s picture when Kotetsu passes by it and sets it next to the portrait the police took that night he and Kotetsu stopped her. She doesn’t look as clean-cut as she does in the picture that was taken that morning, but he supposes a couple days scrubbing up to spring her next crime is the main motivator. She certainly played the part well, at least.

“So she was just -” Kotetsu waves his hand in the air, searching for the correct word. Barnaby waits him out as he continues to shift through the papers, his eyes scanning. “She was just crazy? Doing it for kicks?”

Barnaby nods. “With an expensive costume.”

“And the reason the military didn’t get involved?” Kotetsu asks.

“Because that was exactly what she wanted,” Barnaby answers. Kotetsu slaps the papers down and Barnaby can’t help but smile. “She hired a group of petty thieves to play police officers that night after she escaped custody. She kidnapped you, let the thieves beat you up while feeding you false information about a military rogue operation. Then she caused the blackout to try and lure the local Air Force base into action - which didn’t work, because they discharged her for putting a base on lockdown after she fried the base’s backup generators and knew her MO. They couldn’t reach us to tell us to watch out because once power was restored, their lines were still down because she sabotaged them.”

Kotetsu shakes his head, his fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose in disbelief. “That bullcrap about the NEXT origin, too?”

Barnaby nods. “All of it was fake. She just wanted to get back at you and I for taking her in that night she shot you with the harpoon.”

“But that NEXT had teleporting powers,” Kotetsu says. “That’s why we had to play cat and mouse for so long.”

“She’s like Jake. She has two powers. It’s just she can’t use one without deactivating the other for a short time - it’s why she has so much power using one or the other.”

It makes sense, sort of. She escaped a couple hours after being detained, her activated teleporting power letting her bypass the entire police station she was held in on Stage Gold. Almost immediately she hired a group of thugs to take Kotetsu down to isolate Barnaby - arguably the stronger of the pair - and sets out to take him down during the blackout. Obviously she didn’t take into account just how strong their Hundred Power could be when used together, so she had to try something else, like terrorizing Barnaby at home and bombs strapped to each hero while she fights Barnaby by herself. It would have worked if she had also foreseen the other heroes helping him, but he supposes their rivalry on Hero TV is seen more literally by most than he realizes. Without the cameras to watch them, she was easy to take down, even with bombs and a hip dislocation involved.

Still. It seems like a lot to get back at Kotetsu and Barnaby for arresting her, especially with the bogus origin of NEXT.

Kotetsu groans. He gathers the papers up in his hands and shoves them back in the envelope with a bit more force than necessary, but Barnaby doesn’t blame him. Kotetsu throws it down and they both watch it slide across the table, neither reaching to stop it as it comes to a rest near the edge across from them. Barnaby thinks about throwing it away - now that they’ve both looked at it, there’s no reason to keep it anymore - but he feels Kotetsu’s fingers poking at his elbow propped on the table. Barnaby looks over and immediately regrets it.

“You alright?” Kotetsu asks quietly. He’s been asking Barnaby that a whole lot lately, and for good reason. Every time he thinks about Kotetsu the dream comes flooding back to the forefront of his memory, the feel of Kotetsu’s rough palms dragging up his sides still fresh and real.

He wants so desperately for it to be real. He wants to rewind time to the beginning of the week when Kotetsu was standing there with a rip so deep in his armor it caught his skin, the words _I love you_ right there on his lips as Kotetsu smiles through the pain. The air was wet and crisp that night, the streets still wet from the rain that fell hours before, their suspect laying in a dirty puddle, groaning. Sirens wailed in the distance of Sternbild, traffic noise bounced off the buildings, and it might not have been the ideal place to say anything remotely romantic, but it was right there on the tip of Barnaby’s tongue and he didn’t say it.

He didn’t say it then and he’s not going to say it now - probably ever. The concerned look Kotetsu is giving him is too much of a cost Barnaby doesn’t want to lose. Their friendship means more to him than his petty feelings.

It’s probably stupid of him to think that. Kotetsu values him more than that; _he_ should value himself more than that. But he’s been breaking himself down for twenty plus years, with broken memories and twisted dreams paving his way to fame.

Building himself back up was something he’s never learned. He doesn’t even have a source to blame it on.

“I’m serious,” Kotetsu says. He jabs Barnaby with a finger again, but this time in his side. Barnaby has to fight tooth and nail to keep the grin from appearing on his face. “Your hip was dislocated and you’ve got a hole in your forehead and you’re just walking around like nothing happened.”

Barnaby shrugs, rubbing the flesh-coloured bandaid on his forehead he covered with his bangs that morning. This time he doesn’t fight the smile from his face. “Says the one with a black eye and gash in his side.”

Kotetsu sighs and leans away. “It’s almost healed now. It doesn’t even hurt when I pull on it anymore.”

“Kotetsu, it’s only been a week,” Barnaby chides.

“A week of healing!”

“And fighting!” Barnaby rubs a hand under his glasses, pushing them up into his hair. “Look, I don’t want to argue. Agnes has us on call in case that NEXT decides to do anything, so I guess we’ll have to stick through it.”

Kotetsu grumbles under his breath but doesn’t start anything else. He picks at his food instead, the basket of fries already half eaten between them. Barnaby doesn’t reach over to take anything in case his fingers brush Kotetsu’s.

His phone buzzes on the table and he snatches it up, sliding it unlocked to read whatever text he’s gotten.

**> We need to talk about that dream you had.**

Barnaby bites his lip. He forgot he told Karina that he’d dreamed about Kotetsu. He didn’t divulge any details, but she nailed him to the wall quicker than he could fight back her accusations. Apparently she didn’t want to leave it alone like he did.

Barnaby doesn’t respond to her, but he slips his phone into his pocket and stands up. Kotetsu watches him, expression going hard like it did in the park. Barnaby can’t meet his stare.

“Karina wants to go to the mall,” Barnaby lies by way of explanation. He grabs the manilla folder tipping dangerously close to falling into the empty booth and slaps it down next to Kotetsu. “You can go over those again - I already did this morning, so you can keep them. I’ll talk to you later?”

“You’re spending a lot of time with Karina,” Kotetsu says. He takes the envelope and sets it on his jacket in the seat next to him. Barnaby wishes he didn’t give it back to him because he knows he’s going to need that little piece of Kotetsu to calm down later on. He knows it’s stupid, especially considering how much he’s trying to avoid Kotetsu, but he can’t help it.

Kotetsu is starting to notice, though. Ever since that false alarm call, Kotetsu has been side-eying him with a look that’s a lot more knowing than the old man is letting on.

Barnaby shrugs, trying to play it off as something he’s been doing for a while now instead of a desperate handful of times so he can talk to someone who isn’t Kotetsu. “She’s a nice girl. I like spending time with her,” he says, and he knows what it sounds like the moment the words leave his mouth.

Barnaby has only ever seen Kotetsu break one time before. He doesn’t like remembering the look on Kotetsu’s face as they faced off on that bridge all that time ago, Barnaby in black armor and his mind not completely his own. It’s an odd place for him to visit because he remembers everything - he remembers beating Kotetsu nearly to unconsciousness, he remembers Kotetsu begging him to remember who he is, he remembers his muscles burning with the effort of chasing Kotetsu down and the smell of the sea wind smacking him in the face when Kotetsu had hit him so hard his helmet flew off.

He remembers everything because he was _there._ He was the one that caused Kotetsu to cry. He was the one that made Kotetsu give up. Kotetsu isn’t a man that gives up easily, but Barnaby had beaten the hope right out of him, cracked his suit and his heart, and Barnaby doesn’t know how Kotetsu has ever forgiven him because _he remembers_.

Barnaby remembers what Kotetsu looked like when he gave up. And he looks like that right now, his eyes glassy and his face closed down - ready to give Barnaby whatever he wants because that’s all he’s ever done. It’s never been about Kotetsu.

It’s been about Barnaby. All he does is take and take, leaving Kotetsu with nothing.

He’s a selfish fucking asshole. And he can’t help it.

“It’s just a shopping trip, Kotetsu,” he says, and god damn it all, he sounds like he’s making excuses. “If you want anything, I’ll get it for you.”

It’s a half-hearted attempt at healing whatever it is that’s breaking between them. He knows it’s not going to work before Kotetsu begins to shake his head.

All of this is a misunderstanding. A misunderstanding that Barnaby is creating because he can’t open his mouth and say anything meaningful to Kotetsu - he can’t translate what he feels in his heart into something Kotetsu understands.

Maybe he’s not giving Kotetsu enough credit. He was married and has a child, after all.

Kotetsu waves him off, dismissing him without even looking at him. He pushes the basket of fries away. “Just go, Bunny. If you have something to do, go do it.”

Barnaby stands there for only a moment before gathering his keys and phone from the table and turning away. He doesn’t know when walking away from Kotetsu became so easy, but as he finds his motorcycle in the parking lot and starts it without looking back, he feels like he should pinpoint when, exactly, it became easier than breathing.

Then again, when he bypasses the turnoff leading to Karina’s house and heads straight home, stepping into his apartment soaking wet because it began to rain on the way over, he thinks it’s probably not as easy as breathing; because his bones ache and his heart burns, everything circling inside him like a flutter of disturbed birds. The thing about it is the solution is right there in front of his face but he can’t bring himself to do it.

He can’t bring himself to expose his feelings to someone ever again. He knows Kotetsu won’t use him like Maverick did, but the baser instinct of himself is telling him to clam up and never extend a hand out to Kotetsu or anyone else. His memories are still twisted, mangled things in his mind, things he doesn’t have the energy to completely sort out. Everything inside him is screaming to block Kotetsu out and let him in, a tide ripping Barnaby apart.

But he just can’t choose.

///


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I deeply apologize for the ridiculously long hiatus I took. I ran out of steam for this fic, plus school got in the way. But I'm graduating next semester and getting my degree, so that's one less thing preventing me from completing this. if anyone is still interested in this, I'm going to power through a couple chapters to make up for lost time. Expect sporadic but pretty quick updates for right now. I don't want to leave this incomplete if I can help it. Thank you for your patience!

///

For a long, long time, Barnaby wasn’t ever himself after his parents’ murder. 

He took after Maverick too much. He put on a nice facade when talking to people - a winning smile and a firm handshake - but his thoughts were always racing, always thinking of how he could get the one up on someone. He searched and searched and searched for a long time, constantly on the lookout for Ouroboros, his ears pricked and his body ready to pounce. Maverick taught him how to manipulate people into doing what he wanted - into revealing information he desperately needed. Maverick taught him how to fight for what he wanted, heedless of other’s needs and disposition. 

He didn’t make friends, either, or date. Nothing caught his eye, and friends - according to Maverick - were simply tools to better his own self. Maverick wasn’t the type of parent to turn a blind eye to Barnaby’s activities, so when he found out Barnaby was ignoring all sexual endeavours to continue striving for his goal of becoming a hero, he encouraged the behaviour. Maybe that contributed to how hard it was for Barnaby to come to terms with having - or wanting to have - a romantic relationship. Maybe it was why it was so hard for him to accept Kotetsu as a friend before anything else. 

Barnaby doesn’t want to say that Kotetsu was the one that showed him how to have friends, because how grossly cliche was that? But he has to admit that once Kotetsu stepped into his life, it was like the blacks and whites of his emotionless life exploded into something blinding and colorful and unfamiliar. Something clicked inside his brain, and once he saw Maverick for what he was, he understood why his parents’ murderer tried to keep him far away from anything that would teach Barnaby what his true colors were.

It was refreshing to have someone to fuss over. Kotetsu was an experienced old man, but he was childish, too, in a way Barnaby never was when he was small. Watching Kotetsu play Japanese word games with his daughter or letting him convince Barnaby into going to fairs and carnivals made Barnaby feel warm and comforted, like Kotetsu had come in and swept up all the wrongdoings the world had graced Barnaby with and replaced them with photobooth photo strips and big pink rabbit plushies that was all so remarkably  _ Kotetsu _ .    
  
He was still scarred and lonely, to be sure. But he had friends now - people he truly cared about and worried over and thought about on a daily basis. He couldn’t reconcile his old self with the new, but he felt he didn’t entirely need to now that Maverick was gone and Kotetsu was back in his life. It was weird, but the past Barnaby was a person the present Barnaby didn’t worry leaving in the dust. If anything, it was refreshing, knowing that he could easily drop the proverbial weight and get on with his life in a way he couldn’t truly do before now. 

But that’s where the new Barnaby stopped. His old habits kicked in as soon as Kotetsu was brought into the picture, and not as a friend. Barnaby’s heart betrayed him each time, providing examples of how kind Kotetsu had been to him when it had been completely unwarranted (and unwanted), how understanding and patient Barnaby’s fellow hero was and could be wherever Barnaby was concerned. He could chalk it up to the old man having been married before - Kotetsu was kind to everyone, after all - the charm and wit with which he responded to Barnaby just a knee-jerk reflex of having a wife he had been close to allowing him to reel Barnaby in effortlessly.  

  
These past few weeks have proven Barnaby wrong, however. It wasn’t Kotetsu’s experience in romance that drew Barnaby close. Kotetsu was a gentleman to everyone, and charming was just part of his character. But he was understanding and perceiving, traits that surprised Barnaby just as much as it surprised him the first time they met. He was a caring father, a gentle man, and so, so wise beyond his years that Barnaby had no hope but to be drawn to him. Kotetsu was his port in the storm, his one touch stone he could always return to when his head was so full with broken memories he couldn’t possibly steer himself to reason by figuring it out himself. One touch, one  _ word  _ from Kotetsu had him centered and clear-headed. One look from those golden-orange eyes had him breathing in deep and settling into an odd state of calm, ready and willing to take on the world. 

That’s when he realizes he had been foolish to think he could run away from this. Maverick taught him to face his fears head-on, but no amount of combat training could guide someone to face even welcome truths with open arms. Barnaby sees how he’d been acting this past while with surprisingly clarity, but without the self-disgust - really, he just feels relieved. It’s a strong realization to come to at one-thirty in the morning, especially when he’d ignored all those texts from Karina the day before telling him they needed to talk. He supposes it’s just the guilt driving him to it and doesn’t fight it as he gets up out of bed and pulls on the jeans he’d thrown on the carpet only a couple hours ago. 

He has his phone in his hand and is typing a response to Karina before he has his belt looped - and before he can beat himself back into bed to wallow in self-pity. He doesn’t expect a response this early in the morning, but the heroes have some time now that that NEXT has been apprehended and Barnaby has been put on sufficient meds to deal with the pain of his wounds. 

Besides, it’s not Karina he’s planning on meeting. It was about time he faced Kotetsu on his own, unprompted. 

  
It was a long time coming.

///


	9. Chapter 9

///

“Barnaby? Something the matter?”

It was weird hearing his name in Kotetsu’s voice, especially since he’d only heard it in times of extreme stress or danger. _Bunny_ was such a trademark name for him now that he would probably respond to it no matter who said it to him - and how embarrassing was that? A stupid nickname he didn’t even come up with was the difference in all the world for him; something that set him apart from the other friends Kotetsu had, and it made him proud. To hear Kotetsu skip right over it and go straight for his name was like taking one more step up the stairs and slamming his foot down because he expected the extra step.

Barnaby swallowed and shook his head. “Nothing’s wrong, old man. I just thought we should talk.”

Kotetsu throws him an odd look. He sits down across from Barnaby, his eyes wary and his shoulders too much on this side of tense. It could be from the early hour of the morning - it was nearing three am, according to Barnaby’s phone. Although when he’d called Kotetsu right after texting Karina - **> you were right. I’m sorry. I’m going to meet him now **\- his partner didn’t seem tired. It was almost like he’d been awake all night as well, sitting on his couch or lying in bed like Barnaby had, listening through the silence for the slim hope his phone or his wristband would alert him to company.

It was the small glimmer of hope that Kotetsu _had_ been awake all night waiting for Barnaby to call that kept him going. He licked his lips and grasped his hands tightly, wringing his knuckles in a way he hadn’t since high school. He hoped his suspicions were true, because if not, he  dragged Kotetsu out to this twenty-four hour diner on Stage Silver for no other reason than to make an ass of himself.

Granted, that wasn’t any different than how he’d acted all week. Apparently, Barnaby was doomed to be an asshole to the grave. A small part of him was okay with that.

Barnaby released his own hands and pulled out his phone, more for something to do than anything else. Kotetsu scratched at his beard but otherwise sat still, eyeing Barnaby up and down, his gaze flicking from Barnaby’s fingers on his phone up to his eyes. He looked resigned, almost, like he knew what Barnaby was going to say next. The strange part was that now, Barnaby wouldn’t put it past him.

Barnaby breathed in, and then out in two steady beats. “I’ve been horrible to you. This past week especially,” he says. “It was unfair of me to treat you how I did. I abandoned you when you were hurt and turned on you when you needed me most. I didn’t even give you the benefit of the doubt. I apologize for that.”

The words feel strange on his tongue, and judging from Kotetsu’s twisted expression, they sound strange, too. Kotetsu doesn’t seem to know what to do with the apology, but he schools himself quickly and clears his throat, bobbing his head in quiet acceptance. He reaches a hand across the small table and grips Barnaby’s hand around his phone, and it’s only when Barnaby feels those rough, warm hands on his skin he realizes he’s shaking.

“It’s alright, Bunny,” Kotetsu says lowly. His fingers rub Barnaby’s knuckles. “I know you’ve been thinking through a lot of things. You needed your space, and while you went around it in an odd way, I understood.” He nods his head again and his expression turns sheepish, almost shy. Barnaby can’t look away from that golden gaze even as it flicks down to the tabletop. “Even though you did hurt my feelings a couple times this week.”

“I know, and I - “ The words catch in Barnaby’s throat, and he has to swallow down half the glass of water the waitress had brought him when he’d sat down to unstick them. He sets the glass down with a shaking hand. “I know. Ever since you got grazed with that harpoon, I’ve been avoiding you. And I - I don’t know if I can say why, but I wanted to apologize. For all of it.”

“Is it because of that guy?” Kotetsu says. Barnaby squints at him, confused, before the slight blush on Kotetsu’s cheeks jogs his memory and _really_ , Kotetsu? Barnaby shakes his head before his partner can get another word out of his mouth, his expression changing from confused to exasperated in half a second.

“No - and yes,” Barnaby says. The admission hurts more than the one he made in that gun shop, the single naked bulb swinging between them, Kotetsu’s bulk hovering over him with caution he doesn’t normally utilize. That had been a strange moment for them, and it wasn’t entirely Kotetsu’s fault, his confusion about Barnaby and Karina be damned. “Well, mostly yes. But you were way off that night, and I didn’t make it better.”

Kotetsu settles him with another lost look, and really, Barnaby should know by now to stop dancing around the issue. He worked up the confidence to confess on the drive over - with a lot of help from Karina texting him cheesy dating advice from some young adult magazine, no doubt - and he wasn’t going to squander but talking but saying nothing. Kotetsu deserved better, especially after everything that happened to him.

It was now or never. Kotetsu didn’t seem to have words for him - his expression stuck between confusion and concern - so he pressed on, the shaking in his hands starting up again despite Kotetsu reaching over and pulling Barnaby’s phone out of his hands to hold them between his own. Barnaby stared down at their folded hands, Kotetsu’s skin several shades darker than his own and incredibly warm despite the drizzle of rain pinging against the window next to them.

A strange calm settled over him seeing their hands entwined like this; the same calm that overcame him in battle. He felt almost invincible - a stupid feeling, to be sure, but now that he was sitting here, on the verge of pouring his heart out to the one man that meant more to him than life itself, it felt right.

It felt _right_.

“Kotetsu,” he says, his voice breaking, and stops. Tries again after a beat. “Kotetsu, I haven’t been honest with you and I haven’t been honest with myself. I thought I could sort this out on my own or ignore until it went away, but you’re so _persistent_ and you don’t even know it and I - I can’t hide from this. Not after everything we’ve been through and seen together.”

Kotetsu blinks at him. “Bunny?”

Barnaby breaths in, and out, and in again. _Now or never_.

“I love you,” he says, exhaling the words out as he drops his eyes to their hands again, unwilling to see the expression on Kotetsu’s face as the words leave his mouth.

The diner was quiet before, the near-silent hiss of steam from the kitchen in the back and the sounds of the waitress decluttering behind the front counter a comfortable white noise to their conversation before. Now everything fell silent - even the rain outside stopped, it’s pitter-patter against the glass pane next to their shared booth no longer accompanying Barnaby’s words. Kotetsu was quiet as well, and Barnaby didn’t really know what to do with that.

Seconds, minutes, hours could have passed, and Barnaby wouldn’t have been any the wiser. He must have closed his eyes in silent resignation at some point because it was the jostling of his hands that had him opening them and staring across the table at his partner that, miraculously, was still sitting in the opposite booth. He almost opened his mouth to ask if everything was alright, if they could still be friends and if not, partners in only the loosest of terms for Hero TV, when Kotetsu’s face broke out in a smile too bright for the dreary morning slowly blooming outside the restaurant.

“This is what’s been bothering you?” Kotetsu says. He sounds relieved and almost smug - Barnaby finds that he doesn’t much care, not now that he realizes Kotetsu isn’t walking out on him or berating him. Barnaby just nods, barely able to string a thought together. Kotetsu laughs, too loud for the quiet diner. “ _Kuso_ , Bunny. And I thought I was the one having a hard time this past week.”

Barnaby feels his face twisting in confusion but Kotetsu waves him off, leaning closer across the table. “Bunny  - this whole time I thought I was running you off. You got spooked so easily this week that I honestly thought it was something I said each time. You hurt my feelings, sure, but I thought it was just _me_ ,” Kotetsu says, and as soon as the words leave his mouth Barnaby is out of his booth and pushing in next to Kotetsu, shoving the old man over so he can fit his arms around Kotetsu’s shoulders and press his face into his partner’s neck.

“B-Bunny, what’s - “

“ _Thank you_ ,” Barnaby breaths, his voice cracking for the second time that night. He feels Kotetsu wraps his arms around him, his hands large and warm on Barnaby’s back. His hands feel like they do every time Kotetsu hugs him, but somehow it feels more intimate and real. He tightens his grip around Kotetsu’s shoulders, savoring the feeling. “Thank you. I thought  I could get over it, that it was just a stupid thing my bad memory was making up, but it wasn’t and I was horrible to you and I’m so, _so_ sorry Kotetsu.”

He feels Kotetsu hum a laugh, quiet and understanding. Barnaby feels like he’s going to melt into the floor at the sound. “Bunny… You had nothing to worry about. You worried yourself into a corner, that’s all. You should have said something when you felt it.”

Kotetsu presses a chaste kiss to the side of Barnaby’s head, and the action nearly sends Barnaby into cardiac arrest. He couldn’t have predicted this outcome, even with Karina’s enthusiastic encouragement - he couldn’t have foreseen Kotetsu being so receptive. But he had to be honest with himself: even if Kotetsu had said no, there wasn’t a mean bone in the old man’s body. It would be impossible for him to hurt Barnaby in that way.

“I shouldn’t have doubted you,” Barnaby says quietly.

Kotetsu shrugs. He twists in his seat, bring his back to the wall to pull Barnaby between his legs. Barnaby scoots into his chest and stays there, his face pressed into the soft scarf around Kotetsu’s neck, fighting the pricking at the corners of his eyes as Kotetsu rubs his back, pets his hair. It feels nice to be this close to him, to smell the earthy tones of his cologne left over from the day and feel his heartbeat so strong under his cheek, even through the layers of his shirt and jacket. Kotetsu is quiet for a minute before he pulls back a couple inches, looking down at Barnaby with a question in his eyes. Barnaby sits up, his arms dropping from where they’d wound around Kotetsu’s chest, Kotetsu following him and pressing their sides close.

Barnaby can barely breathe with so little space between them, but he waits for Kotetsu to say what’s on his mind. He has all the time in the world now.

“When did you - “ Kotetsu starts, then stops. He looks away from Barnaby’s stare, the first sign of how nervous he must really feel Barnaby has seen since they sat down. Kotetsu doesn’t look up until Barnaby leans into his line of vision. He smiles sheepishly. “Was it that time I got shot with the harpoon? Is that when you knew?”

Barnaby wants to punch himself, because of course the old man knew. He doesn’t fight it, his expression falling from curious to sort of put-out. Barnaby nods. “I didn’t think I was that obvious.”

Kotetsu smiles, his confidence bubbling back. “You ran away when I was getting dressed. I’m old, but not stupid. I’ve had people do that to me in gym dressing rooms before - I’m sure you have too.”

“Well, yes, but - “ Barnaby says, but he cuts himself off. There’s no reason to argue. “I just - I couldn’t see straight. You were hurt, and I was angry, and I should have expressed what I thought better but you brushed me off like you do every time i bring up your injuries. But then you started to get dressed and those _damn_ suspenders just - “

“My _suspenders?_ ” Kotetsu laughed. He bumped Barnaby’s shoulder, unheeding of the hot blush Barnaby could feel climbing up his neck. “Barnaby, you’ve seen me wear them before. You’ve seen me _put them on_ before.”

Barnaby wants to strangle him. “Yes, but it was different then!”

Kotetsu snorts, but it’s good-natured, so Barnaby lets it go without saying anything too scathing. “You’re so wound up, Bunny.”

“I don’t mean to be,” he says quietly, and suddenly he feels small - like he’s five years old again and struggling with the murder of his parents. He swallows thickly and shakily takes Kotetsu’s hand. “I… I just wanted to be better. For you. I wanted to be someone worthy of you.”

Kotetsu puts a finger under Barnaby’s chin and turns his face so they’re looking into each other’s eyes. There’s maybe two inches between their faces, and Barnaby feels his face heat up again.

“I’ve loved you since the H0-1 incident,” Kotetsu says quietly, and wow, isn’t that eerily familiar. “You weren’t yourself, I know that, but when I saw you fighting to remember who you were - who _I  was_  - that’s when I understood. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, and that day is when I saw it, too. I trust you with my life, Bunny.” Kotetsu smiles and brushes the fingers that were holding Barnaby’s chin across his cheek and down his neck. “I love you.”

Barnaby gives himself to take in the image of Kotetsu an inch from his face, smiling and laying himself out for Barnaby to see - he takes it in, wrapping each kernel of Kotetsu’s confession into himself and safeguarding it in his heart where he knows now it will be safe. He reaches up and takes Kotetsu’s face in his hands and leans forward into the warm smile, pressing his lips to Kotetsu’s like he’d done this a thousand times before.

Kotetsu breathed out his nose and kissed back, short and chaste but it set Barnaby’s nerves alight. It was easy to take in each other’s space then - years of practice had them leaning together with the right amount of pressure to make the kiss nearly perfect. But before Barnaby could push closer, a pointed cough sounded behind them in the direction of the counter and Barnaby jumped back like he’d been electrocuted. Kotetsu gave him a wry smile before smiling apologetically at the waitress watching them from only a few feet away.

“We should go,” Kotetsu says, and Barnaby nods, unable to say a word with the heat of embarrassment crawling up his throat. He scoots out of the booth and waits for Kotetsu to follow him before exiting the diner, the both of them turning down the sidewalk in the direction of Barnaby’s bike and Kotetsu’s SUV.

Barnaby reaches out and takes Kotetsu’s hand before they can get very far, the confidence from kissing Kotetsu still thrumming in his veins driving him to lean in again. Kotetsu kisses him back easily, a smile on his lips, and it’s like they’ve been doing this all along - the naturalness with which they fit together is almost scary, but it only comforts Barnaby. It makes everything that happened this week worth it.

Kotetsu kisses the corner of his mouth and his cheek when they part, his other hand coming up to rest on Barnaby’s hip. “It’s nice seeing you this relaxed,” he says. “You’re completely different than you were earlier in the week.”

Barnaby clears his throat, his mouth suddenly dry. “A lot happened this week,” he responds. The words are weighted, and Kotetsu smiles, understanding. The cut on his lip is still there, and Barnaby reaches up and brushes it with his thumb, no longer scared to touch his partner. That hurdle has been passed and left in the dust.

Barnaby suddenly remembers the dream - the feeling of Kotetsu’s hands under his shirt, his nails raking sweet lines down his sides, his experienced fingers playing at his belt and his mouth sucking kisses under his ear. He feels a hot flush bloom under his collar and has to clear his throat. It’s too early, too fast, too much like he’s running headfirst into that steel wall at the power plant - but Kotetsu, more observant than Barnaby will ever know, gets this look in his eye.

“It’s not too fast,” Kotetsu says. Barnaby chokes on air and Kotetsu smiles, playful. “Karina told me about the dream.” 

“She- _what?!_ ” Barnaby chokes out, suddenly feeling too hot for the chilly morning air. He doesn’t realize he’s pulling out his phone to angrily dial Karina’s number until Kotetsu is yanking it out of his fingers and stuffing it into his own pocket. “No - give that back to me. I can’t believe she just - !”

“Relax,” Kotatsu laughs. “She didn’t tell me what it was about. Just that you dreamt about me. I just now connected two and two together.”

The anger boiling in Barnaby’s blood cooled. “Oh.”

“Yeah, _oh_ ,” Kotetsu says. He kisses Barnaby’s cheek again. “She told me because I was worrying after you.”

“Oh,” Barnaby says again. He feels empty all of a sudden, just now realizing that Kotetsu is friends with Karina too and that they text each other more regularly than Barnaby and Karina text each other. “I… It was more like a fever dream, Kotetsu. I really didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

Kotetsu snorts. “Bunny, please. I have a daughter. Sex doesn’t embarrass me. Especially with you.”

Barnaby has to breathe deep to prevent his head from exploding. He smiles shakily. _Especially with you_.

Jesus, he was too far gone to be saved. Kotetsu didn’t seem to mind.

“Your place?” Kotetsu says. His words snap Barnaby to attention, and he’s nodding before he realizes what Kotetsu is actually asking. Kotetsu smiles wider, a hungry look passing through his gaze. “Alright. I’ll follow you there.”

Barnaby is on his bike and rushing home before he can really think about what’s going to happen when they actually get to Barnaby’s apartment, and he’s struck with the thought that maybe it’s not such a big deal that they’re jumping in feet first so fast. They’ve known each other long enough, and really, it’s not like the public doesn’t think they’re a couple anyway. It would be nice to be with Kotetsu that way - to finally show Kotetsu without words what Barnaby has been struggling with the entire week.   

He's been waiting for this, anyway. It's been too long since he's been completely honest with Kotetsu. Maybe now he can be honest with himself too. 

///

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter everyone has been waiting so patiently for! This chapter will change the rating to explicit. It's also unbetad, so let me know if there are any glaring mistakes. Enjoy!

///

“Don’t be so nervous,” Kotetsu says once they’re inside Barnaby’s apartment. He jumps, startled at his partner’s voice, just now realizing he’d been on autopilot leading Kotetsu up to his apartment. Kotetsu smiles as he touches Barnaby’s elbow, turning him around. “It’s alright. It’s just me, Bunny.”

Barnaby nods, swallowing thickly. “I-I’m sorry, I just - it’s been a while. Since you’ve been here, I mean.”

Kotetsu hums his confirmation. He takes in Barnaby’s apartment, glancing around the spacious apartment living room. “It’s nice to see it put back together since it was trashed,” he says. His hand, previously resting on Barnaby’s elbow, moves to his side and slides down to his hip. It’s a comfortable weight. 

“Yeah,” Barnaby says. Anything else he would have said jams in his throat, but there really wasn’t much else to say. They’re dancing around each other, the heat of the moment in the diner sizzling into the background, both of them unsure how to proceed but wanting to anyway. Barnaby feels Kotetsu radiating with a quietly contained want - when Kotetsu turns to lock gazes with him again, his hand on Barnaby’s hip turns possessive, and suddenly Barnaby is very much aware of the lack of space between them. 

He swallows thickly as Kotetsu’s other hand swipes up his side and winds around to settle on the small of his back. His own hands grip the front of Kotetsu’s jacket, unsure. Kotetsu grins at him good-naturedly, leaning forward and kissing the side of Barnaby’s jaw. 

“It’s just me,” he says. The tension building in Barnaby’s shoulders begins to relax with each syllable. “It’s just us right now. I love you, Barnaby.”

And just like that, Barnaby is pushing forward, kissing Kotetsu with all that he has, his hands pushing up from Kotetsu’s jacket and into his hair. Kotetsu kisses him back, his mouth warm and pliant as he opens up to Barnaby’s tongue, his chest vibrating with a quiet groan under the pressure. Barnaby feels himself sigh, and then he’s stepping forward, leading Kotetsu back at a slow stumble into the bedroom. 

Kotetsu shrugs out of his jacket when the door hisses open behind him, kicking it out of the way before Barnaby can step on it as he herds Kotetsu into the smaller room. His hands come back up to Barnaby’s shoulders to pry his jacket off as well - Barnaby pulls away to unzip it and toss it away, the sudden heat of seeing Kotetsu’s kiss-bruised lips and heady blush on his dark skin giving him the confidence to pull off his shirt as well. Kotetsu chuckles nervously as the shirt drops to the carpet, but his hands come back up to Barnaby’s sides anyways, and the feeling of Kotetsu’s calloused, warm hands on his bare skin makes Barnaby shiver. 

“Kotetsu,” he whispers as his partner’s hands cup his hips. Kotetsu hums, bringing his face to the crook of Barnaby’s neck and kissing his exposed shoulder. Barnaby shudders again, his breath coming quicker, the heat of his blush rushing up his chest and his neck as Kotetsu kisses up the column of his neck to under his ear. “Kotetsu…”

“I forgot how beautiful you are, Bunny,” Kotetsu says in his ear. 

“Want to see you too,” Barnaby says. He wraps his arms around Kotetsu’s broad shoulders, leaning into Kotetsu’s kisses. Kotetsu sucks a kiss under his jaw, his fingers sinking below the back of Barnaby’s jeans as Barnaby arches into the kiss. Barnaby’s knees go weak when Kotetsu pulls away.

Barnaby is already pulling up Kotetsu’s shirt from his slacks, yanking the tail of it out before he starts on the buttons at the front. Kotetsu helps him by starting at the top as Barnaby undoes the bottom, shrugging out of his suspenders before the shirt is completely open. Once it is, it drops to the floor and Kotetsu is pulling off the tank top underneath - revealing the lightly bandaged wound still on Kotetsu’s side. 

Barnaby gasps and brings a hand up to the clean bandages, cupping under it, afraid to touch. The heat temporarily drains from his face. “Kotetsu, we can’t possibly - “

“Bunny,” Kotetsu chides. His hand takes Barnaby’s gingerly, and with a wry smile he presses Barnaby’s open palm to the center of the bandage. It wraps around his ribs a couple times before ending under the silver clip holding the bandage tightly to his skin. “I’m alright. It doesn’t hurt.”

Barnaby swallows and nods, his hand sliding around the bandage to rest against Kotetsu’s back. He presses his face into Kotetsu’s neck. “I’m sorry. For not being able to protect you.”

Kotetsu turns his head and kisses Barnaby’s ear. His hands wind around Barnaby’s back again, where they sink into Barnaby’s back pockets easily. Barnaby stiffens, then relaxes into the casual possession. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Kotetsu says. “It won’t affect what we’re doing.”

Heat floods up to Barnaby’s face again, and then he’s falling back, Kotetsu switching their positions and lowering Barnaby down onto the foot of his bed. Barnaby wraps his arms around Kotetsu’s shoulders and brings him down on top of him, Kotetsu’s weight tight and comfortable over him as they settle close together, sharing air as Barnaby stares up into those golden brown eyes. 

Their hips slot together when Kotetsu shifts to kiss him and they both gasp at the contact. Kotetsu is hard against him, and the thought that he’s hard because of Barnaby nearly sends Barnaby into a fit even as his partner closes the distance and kisses him again, deeper than before. Barnaby grips Kotetsu’s shoulders, pouring himself into the kiss as one of Kotetsu’s hands tracks down his side, raising goosebumps as it slips down the back of his jeans and grips Barnaby’s ass. Barnaby gasps again, his body arching up into Kotetsu’s the dream he had earlier in the week flooding back to him. His body reacts in kind: heat pools low in his belly, egged on by Kotetsu’s sucking kisses down his neck and his shoulder. 

Kotetsu stops at Barnaby’s chest,, the fingers of the hand not down Barnaby’s pants pulling at his belt as he kisses and laps at a mark he’s made at the peak of Barnaby’s collarbone. Barnaby wriggles out of his jeans as Kotetsu pulls them down one-handed, making breathy sounds as the skin of his thighs hits the cold hair of the bedroom. Kotetsu continues down Barnaby’s stomach as he pulls Barnaby’s pants off, and as he nears the hem of Barnaby’s boxers, the jeans go flying across the room, both of Kotetsu’s hands gripping the hard muscle of Barnaby’s thighs as they fall open shamelessly. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Kotetsu says against his stomach. Barnaby whimpers against the hot breath ghosting over his skin. His hands curl into Kotetsu’s hair and grip his shoulders, anticipation shaking down his spine, hoping against hope that Kotetsu is going to do what he thinks he’s going to do. Kotetsu lays a kiss below Barnaby’s navel, his smile bright in his voice. “Would it be alright if I touched you lower?”

Barnaby nods breathlessly, his throat dry. Kotetsu kisses above the hem of his boxers, a happy hum drifting up as his fingers slip under the elastic waistband and pull down. Barnaby can’t breathe, can’t even  _ think _ until his hot skin is bare to Kotetsu, his boxers gone somewhere over the side of the bed, forgotten. He feels his cock laying heavy and weeping against his stomach - he jolts nearly upright when he feels Kotetsu’s calloused hand wrapping gingerly around his length, his own fingers digging into Kotetsu’s shoulders. 

The tension immediately melts out of him, his back hitting the bed again as Kotetsu’s hot mouth engulfs him without warning. A strangled shout leaves Barnaby’s throat, his hips rolling up into the sucking heat, his fingers finding Kotetsu’s hair and gripping without pulling. Kotetsu takes as much of him as he can, his hand palming the rest as he begins to bob his head. Barnaby groans, swallowing air, his toes curling against the sheets as Kotetsu continues to suck him off. His mind, swirling with thoughts before, goes blissfully blank now, his hips following Kotetsu’s mouth, his body falling into an easy rhythm he didn’t know it knew. 

Barnaby feels his stomach tense with a familiar grip on an upstroke, Kotetsu’s mouth nearly leaving his cock as he sucks at the head, tongue curling around the glands. He scrabbles at Kotetsu’s shoulders, pulling him up and off, a disappointed groan reverberating up Kotetsu’s throat as Barnaby pulls Kotetsu up to face him. He feels strung out just from the little time Kotetsu spent sucking his cock, but he doesn’t want to end it there - his partner’s swollen lips and sweet moans be damned. 

“Too close?” Kotetsu asks, and Barnaby nods breathlessly, the tension in his stomach and his thighs settling only minutely. Kotetsu is still wearing his slacks, and when he settles between Barnaby’s legs, the rough fabric scratches his dick, on this side of just too much. Barnaby pushes him away and sits up with him, his hands working at Kotetsu’s belt. 

“Off,” he says, and before Barnaby can say more, Kotetsu is yanking the leather belt out of the loops of his slacks and is kicking them off. Barnaby feels a shuddering sigh wrack through him as Kotetsu’s cock bobs out of his own boxer briefs, his mouth turning dry at the sight even as Kotetsu pushes him back onto the bed, his warm, eager hands pushing Barnaby’s thighs apart. 

“Lube?” Kotetsu asks. Barnaby nods and reaches up under the pillow at the head of the bed, groping around until he feels the cool plastic bottle in his hands. He pushes it into Kotetsu’s waiting hand, excitement jumping up his ribs and making his hands shake. Kotetsu kisses his cheek, then his neck and his shoulder, the fingers of his left hand popping the cap on the lube bottle with a sharp  _ snap _ . 

Barnaby shudders at the cool fingers sliding between his cheeks even as he kisses Kotetsu. A slick finger slides over his hole, dragging a moan out of him, and before he can pull away to breathe between kisses, it sinks into him, sweet and warm. His whole body arches off the bed again, his fingernails digging crescents into the skin of Kotetsu’s shoulders. He doesn’t realize he’s clenching so tightly around the one finger until Kotetsu is pressing soft kisses against his jaw, his words soft in his ear.

“Relax, Bunny,” Kotetsu whispers. Barnaby sighs, the tensions collecting between his shoulder blades starting to melt away. “It’s just one finger. It’ll be alright if you relax.”

Barnaby nods haltingly, struggling to relax but feeling himself start to unwind. Kotetsu’s finger sinks deeper and barnaby has to fight not to clench around it. 

“I-I’m sorry,” Barnaby breathes. “I’m sorry, I - it’s been a long time. Since I even fingered myself.”

Kotetsu gives him a startled look even as a second finger begins to push in. “Should I go slower, then?” 

Barnaby shakes his head as he feels himself relax, the hot feeling growing between his legs warming him through. He begins to relax his muscles like he remembers he’s supposed to, memories of sleepless nights and heated sessions with toys he’d bought discreetly online coming back to him. He swallows thickly before speaking. 

“Please, Kotetsu,” he says. Kotetsu’s second finger sinks into him fully, and his partner begins to scissor him as he takes in a shaky breath to continue. “I can do this. Please.”

Kotetsu nods. His fingers flex inside him as Barnaby wraps a leg around Kotetsu’s hips, his heel digging into the small of Kotetsu’s back. The position allows for a better stretch, and before Barnaby can think too much about it, Kotetsu is pushing a third finger in, and then a fourth, and then the thick, heady feeling of being filled with just Kotetsu’s fingers nearly pushes Barnaby off the edge. 

Barnaby gasps as Kotetsu retracts his hand, suddenly going from being filled to empty dragging a shocked breath from under his ribs. Kotetsu kisses under his chin, but Barnaby pulls his face close and gives him an open-mouthed kiss as he feels Kotetsu line himself up, the movement fluid and natural like they’ve done this a hundred times before. 

Barnaby relaxes his legs as Kotetsu settles. They’re staring at each other - Kotetsu serious and Barnaby needy, the blush on his cheeks hot and the sweat on his back causing the sheets to stick to his skin. Kotetsu levels him with a look that’s almost  _ paternal _ before he’s speaking, drawing Barnaby out of his anticipation. 

“Are you ready?” Kotetsu asks. Barnaby swallows, panic momentarily bubbling up behind his sternum, but he battles it down because this is his partner. His best friend, his family - his  _ lover _ . Barnaby nods, one hand caressing the side of Kotetsu’s face as the other wraps around behind Kotetsu’s broad shoulders. 

“I’m ready,” Barnaby says. “I love you, Ko _ tetsu! _ ”

Kotetsu pushes up and in, his cock sliding into him deliciously in one easy slide, the preparation having paid off. Barnaby shouts and digs his heel into Kotetsu’s back, tensing and untensing muscles without thinking, a long, drawn-out moan escaping his throat as Kotetsu settles inside him. Kotetsu lets out his own satisfied moan, the sound ending on a low “ _ Bunny _ ”. 

The feeling of finally being filled with Kotetsu sends Barnaby reeling, his body bursting with the heat rolling off Kotetsu, his muscles shaking with each minute movement as they seize, unable to move. Barnaby doesn’t know if he can roll his hips to start to thrust, but before he can get along too far on that train of thought, Kotetsu is pulling out in one long, sweet drag before slamming back in, the movements of his hips jerking Barnaby up the bed. 

They find a rhythm quickly after that, their bodies syncing into an easy pull and push naturally, years of having fought and bonded together coalescing into this one moment of togetherness. Barnaby can feel himself being pushed up the bed but he doesn’t care - Kotetsu is pushing into him with perfect pressure at the perfect angle, his thrusts long and deep, filling Barnaby to the brim. He’s muttering something in Japanese before he starts to say Barnaby’s name, the syllables rolling with his thrusts, his hair brushing against Barnaby’s cheeks as they both come together to kiss.

Barnaby can’t keep himself together - he’s strung too tight and filled too deeply to keep his thoughts straight. He feels himself talking but he doesn’t know what; instead he focuses on the muscles of Kotetsu’s back flexing under his hands, his thrusts spiking through Barnaby in hot, cindering jolts, the feeling clouding his vision as he presses kiss after kiss to Kotetsu’s mouth, his cheek, his jaw. He doesn’t know where he ends and Kotetsu begins as the thrust together - he doesn’t know if he honestly cares. He throws his head back at a deep thrust and moans, Kotetsu’s name dropping off his tongue as a hard, hot feeling settles into his groin, the muscles in his legs starting to seize and spasm. 

“Kotetsu,” he gasps suddenly, the pleasure hiking behind his balls and his shoulders. “Kotetsu,” he says again, and Kotetsu grunts against him, his hands coming down from where they were gripping the sheets behind Barnaby’s back to grasp his hips and his shoulders, his thrusts growing erratic as his own pleasure builds. 

Barnaby digs his nails into Kotetsu’s shoulders, his body bowing up into Kotetsu’s thrusts, suddenly unable to feel nothing but his partner arcing above him. “Kotets-  _ ahh! _ ” And on the upstroke of a thrust Barnaby is coming, his orgasm ripping through him suddenly without warning. He clenches around Kotetsu and in a few more short, staggered thrusts, he feels Kotetsu coming too, his face buried in Barnaby’s shoulder, his beard rubbing raw into the hollow of his throat. 

Kotetsu struggles to stay above Barnaby so Barnaby pulls him down on him, the post-orgasm bliss making him uncaring of his partner’s weight. Kotetsu wraps his arms around Barnaby’s back and rolls them onto their side, both of them panting. Barnaby feels Kotetsu slip out of him as he brings his thigh up to rest on Kotetsu’s hip - one of Kotetsu’s hands slips down to feel Barnaby’s stretched hole. Barnaby’s muscles burn too much to pull away, but Kotetsu’s fingers are gentle as they push inside him again, curiously stretching Barnaby even in his oversensitivity. 

“Too much, Kotetsu,” Barnaby groans into Kotetsu’s shoulder. Kotetsu hums, the sound more of a vibration against Barnaby’s cheek as they settle together. His fingers leave Barnaby’s body and Barnaby fully relaxes as Kotetsu rolls onto his back. Barnaby feels Kotetsu wrap his arms around his shoulders, caging him in his warmth, and despite the awkward sticky feeling of their sweaty skin catching against each other, Barnaby doesn’t mind at all. 

Seconds tick into minutes, their breathing eventually falling in tandem. Barnaby can feel himself falling asleep, but Kotetsu’s arm suddenly coming up from around him startles him awake. 

Kotetsu pulls off his glasses and sets them aside on the bedside table. Barnaby is close enough to see his smile, but he wiggles up so he’s face to face with Kotetsu anyway. Kotetsu rolls back over and gives him a sheepish smile. 

“Sorry,” he says. “I meant to take them off when we started, but I didn’t know how well you could see, so I left them. They were hurting my chest, thought.”

“Oh,” Barnaby says. He’s honestly surprised they even managed to stay on. “Well - I can’t see that well. It was nice seeing you, though.”

He feels the blush crawling up his neck as Kotetsu leers at him, but Barnaby doesn’t complain. They just had sex - he can’t say much now, afterall. 

“It was nice seeing you too, Bunny,” Kotetsu says. The yawn he tries to stifle doesn’t cover up the goofy smile that spreads on his lips. 

Barnaby relaxes, his body feeling heavy. He reaches up and pushes the bangs out of Kotetsu’s face, smiling back at his partner. “I love you, Kotetsu. Thank you.”

Kotetsu kisses his hand as Barnaby settles closer to him, their bodies slotting together in a comfortable tangle. “I love you too, Bunny.”

  
Barnaby feels another kiss on his face as he closes his eyes, but he drops off into sleep soon after. He hasn’t slept as soundly as he has in days.

///


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end! It's been a long journey, and I wanted to make this a big chapter to make it a fitting ending, but my original idea felt long-winded and out of character (Barnaby was supposed to meet Karina the night after sleeping with Kotetsu and they were going to have this super weird conversation about it and it just felt... odd...) so this is plan B. I like this much better, so I don't think I'll be changing it. I want to thank all of you who have stuck with me through this and for making this fic as popular in the t&b fandom as you made it - it makes me happy knowing that even though it sat for a year incomplete, it still garnered attention by itself. This has been a huge learning experience for me. Thank you for your comments and kudos! I might be writing more in this fic's 'verse in the future - just snippets and things - so look out!

///

 

“Are you sure this is all right?”

Kotetsu scoffs and waves his hand. He picks up Barnaby’s bag and hefts it up over one shoulders. “Please, Bunny. My mom doesn’t bite, and my brother will only ask marginally invasive questions. If nothing else, just smile and nod.”

Barnaby rubs his neck, swallowing down his smart-ass answer. He follows Kotetsu up the short stone walk to the front door of the Kaburagi residence and pulls the sliding screen open before Kotetsu can struggle with it with both of their bags in his hands. He pushes the door shut behind him and quietly follows Kotetsu’s lead in taking off his shoes and putting on the plain white slippers before stepping up onto the raised wood floor, snatching his own bag before Kotetsu breaks his back carrying their luggage into his own house.

“ _ Kaeeeedeee! _ ” Kotetsu calls out into the quiet house. They both round the corner and glance into the empty kitchen. “ _ Papa no ie!" (1) _

Barnaby hears a distant crash and then thumping footsteps, slowly getting louder as they circle the house. Kaede the corner down the hallway, her face beaming and her clothes covered in mud. Kotetsu doesn’t seem to care - he scoops her up and hugs her to his chest, her thin arms wrapping around his neck as she greeted him. 

“I thought you weren’t coming until tomorrow!” she says as he sets her down, her fingers still tangled in the plain dark grey t-shirt Kotetsu had worn the train ride down. Kaede turns to look at Barnaby, and before he can stop her, she’s latched herself around his waist, her face buried in his stomach.

“It’s good to see you too, Kaede,” Barnaby says, slightly winded. He hugs her shoulders and she steps away, her face bright red. 

“I wanted to surprise you and grandma,” Kotetsu says. He pets Kaede’s hair, brushing some dark strands out of her face. “Besides, Bunny was excited to see you again. He couldn’t stop talking about coming up here all week.”

Barnaby rolls his eyes but he gives Kaede his most charming smile as she blushes up at him before turning away. She mutters something in Japanese he can’t quite hear, bats her father’s hands away, then takes off back the way she came, her socks sliding on the polished floor. Kotetsu picks up his bag again and nods down the hall. 

“Our room is down here,” he says. “We might want to settle in before my brother jumps you with questions and my mom tries to feed you too much mochi.”

Barnaby follows him into a large room with the screens on the opposite wall to the door open to a wide green yard, the sounds of birds and insects filtering into the empty room. Kotetsu shows him how to unroll the two futons folded into a cabinet next to a small shrine with the picture of Tomoe set in the center, then tells him that he can flip the picture down if it made Barnaby uncomfortable since he seemed to stare at it the whole time they were shaking out the sheets. 

“What? No,” Barnaby says. He takes Kotetsu’s hand before he can start worrying at the wedding band he still wears and threads their fingers together. “She was your wife. I’m not going to tell you to put her picture away.”

Kotetsu smiles at him, the guilt brewing between his brows disappearing. “Thanks, Bunny.”

Barnaby doesn’t know why he’s being thanked - Kotetsu’s allowed to still mourn, especially someone he loved so much and the mother of his child. Barnaby shakes his head and squeezes Kotetsu’s hand. “Don’t thank me. It’s nothing.”

Kotetsu hums, bobbing his head, his smile turning goofy. “C’mon,” he says. “My mom wants to meet you.”

They find Ms. Kaburagi in the garden behind the house, her hair pulled back into a loose bun and her denim jacket rolled up to the elbows as she shifted dirt between rows of plants. Kaede was sitting on the porch, her legs swinging below her as she sipped at a glass of water. Barnaby has seen Kotetsu’s mom a handful of times before now, but it was always when Kotetsu was calling her. She turns at the sound of them approaching and he’s surprised by how much Kotetsu looks like her - the eyes especially, so wise and knowing. 

“Kotetsu!” she says. Her smile is bright and warm, just like Kotetsu’s. She gets up and trudges across the garden before slipping out of her boots and climbing up the steps to the porch to meet them. Kotetsu envelops his mother in a hug, his height dwarfing hers. “Kaede told me you were here. What took you so long to get out here?”

Kotetsu bends down to accept the short kiss his mother plants on his cheek. “I was showing Bunny our room. He’s never slept on a futon, mom. I had to teach him before you feed him into a coma tonight.”

She scoffs. “It’s the polite thing to do, Kotetsu. You don’t want your guests to be hungry. Besides,” she says, suddenly turning to look Barnaby up down. He’s suddenly self conscious of his height. “He’s so skinny! He needs a big dinner.”

Barnaby laughs nervously. “Trust me, Ms. Kaburagi. I eat enough, but thank you. I look forward to eating dinner with you.”

She smiles sweetly, then turns to Kotetsu again, her smile turning almost threatening.  _ “ _ _ Kare wa ureshīdesu. Anata wa yoriyoi kare o tamotsu koto.” (2) _

Kotetsu splutters. “Obaa-chan!”

She pats Kotetsu’s shoulder and then calls Kaede to come help her set up dinner. Barnaby watches them go before stepping close to Kotetsu, his voice dropping so only Kotetsu can hear him. 

“What was that about?”

Kotetsu grumbles, his face turning a ruddy red. “Just my mom being my mom. She’s been a little too happy since I told her we’re in a relationship. It’s only been a couple months, but it’s like she’s…” Kotetsu trails off, his eyes skittering from Barnaby’s face to above his shoulder and away, out towards the garden. Barnaby touches his finger to Kotetsu’s chin to turn him back around. Kotetsu meets his eyes with only a little reluctance. 

“She’s just happy I found someone,” Kotetsu finally says, almost shyly. “When I called her after your apartment got trashed, she was worried about you. She likes you a lot, and she’s happy I chose you. She’s proud of me.”

Barnaby smiles and pats Kotetsu’s shoulders. “Of course. I’m someone to be proud of, after all.”

Kotetsu smiles back at him, his sad mood lifting. “And humble, too.”

Barnaby doesn’t grace him with an answer, instead kissing Kotetsu’s cheek as he turns to follow Kotetsu’s mother. “Come on. It’s only polite to help your mother with dinner if we’re going to stay here for the week.”

Kotetsu falls into step beside him, their fingers twining together, palms flat against each other. It’s a natural thing to hold Kotetsu’s hand at his side - it’s natural to tease him through cooking the vegetables and to embarrass him by answering personal questions his brother asks over dessert. Falling into bed with him is as easy as breathing now, their rough edges and angles slotting together like they were cast from the same mold, despite small irregularities. Kotetsu nudges into his arms, warm and pliant, their breathing settling together like it does when they fight - like it always does when their timers are ticking down together, a steady five, four, three, two, one to victory, each as exhilarating as the last. 

He wants to think that they were made for each other, especially after everything. They’ve been through a lot, and there’s more to say but he doesn’t feel like he needs to. They have the same power, after all - something that speaks a lot louder about their capability than Barnaby could ever wax if he had the talent for it. 

But it doesn’t matter if they were or weren’t. It’s a nice thought that some twist of fate made them compatible, but it means more than they’ve forged this far together, making it work even when they were determined not to. Kotetsu fits him as snugly as anything ever has, and that, Barnaby thinks, is what matters - five minutes to one be damned. 

  
(It’s only a timer, anyway.)

///End///

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) (Daddy’s home!)
> 
> (2) (He's nice. You better be keeping him.)


End file.
